My Salvation
by Wheredreamsaremade123
Summary: Coming home from work one night, doctor Clarke Griffin stumbles upon an injured man and she's determined to help him, even though he's not very nice to her. And he is in desperate need of her help, but he doesn't know it just yet. Will they be each other's salvation or devastation? Bellarke Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone!_

 _Here I am with a new fic, filled with hope that you guys will like it and that I'll be able to continue it!_

 _Reviews are very welcome and if I get good responses I'll continue the story!_

* * *

When Clarke drove home from work that night, it was well past midnight, when her shift was supposed to end. It wasn't easy to focus on the road ahead of her when all she could think about was the comfort of her bed awaiting her at home.

She was used to it – giving up sleep and private life was what being a doctor in a big city meant. And even though it was exhausting and emotionally draining, she loved it.

That night Clarke took the shorter route home. It was the route which was, truthfully, more dangerous but she really didn't have the energy to go through all those traffic lights which the other route had.

Clarke had just entered the bad neighborhood when she saw commotion in front of the notorious club which she's been avoiding ever since she moved to Phoenix.

There was a large crowd gathered around something in front of the club. Usually she would've just assumed that someone got into a fight again and drove past it.

But this time was different. Her gut was telling her to get out of the car and see what was going on. And her gut was never wrong.

Even though she knew interfering would almost certainly mean getting into real trouble, Clarke couldn't control her actions in that moment. So she stopped the car on the other side of the street, not aware of the fact that she was doing something that would change her life forever.

It didn't seem like someone was in a fight, but the crowd was loud and big and it was hard to decipher what any of them were saying. It would be even harder to push through them all and get a closer look.

"What's going on?" Clarke asked the first girl she saw. She was pretty young, probably not even old enough to be in such a place. Half of her head was shaved and the other half dyed bright green. She was wearing ripped jeans and a black tank top. She seemed like she paid no attention to Clarke whatsoever, but she didn't ignore her question either.

"Apparently Pike beat up some guy pretty bad and the guy passed out," the girl said casually. "I haven't seen him, but he must look terrible. But I guess he earned it. Everybody knows not to mess with Pike. It's like going on a suicide mission."

Clarke had no idea who this Pike guy was, but that wasn't what mattered in that moment.

"He passed out? Did anyone call the ambulance?"

The green-haired girl shrugged, indicating that she didn't care much and that the conversation was over.

Clarke began to push her way through the crowd. If this man was unconscious, she felt the need to do something to help him. After all, she did swear an oath to help people.

"Could you please move? I'm a doctor!" she raised her voice, trying to get people's attention. They started to move and clear up the path in front of her.

On the pavement, right in front of the club entrance, lied a man. His face was almost unrecognizable, but judging by his other features, Clarke assumed he was fairly young, probably in his late twenties.

He looked terrible indeed. His face was filled with dried blood, his eyelids swollen, upper lip split and there was still some blood spilling from the large wound on his forehead. Clarke noticed drips of blood on the edge of the pavement too so she assumed that the poor guy fell on it and hit his head. That would explain the big wound.

She knelt next to the guy immediately, praying he was alive. She checked his pulse, relieved to find that it was strong. But the gash on his forehead was still concerning. He might have a concussion and the wound should be assessed straight away, otherwise the risk of brain damage could increase.

"Did someone call an ambulance?" Clarke asked, annoyed that no one was even trying to help the guy. She scanned the rest of his body quickly while she was waiting for an answer. His ankle was swollen and he had bruises all over his torso, but nothing seemed life-threatening.

"He kept saying he doesn't want us to call an ambulance and then he passed out."

Clarke lifted her head to see where the voice was coming from. Apparently it belonged to the guy who was obviously stoned. Or drunk. Or both. He was barely capable of standing on his own two feet, let alone making a phone call.

"And you listened to him? Can't you see how badly he's injured?" Clarke raised her voice, pissed at all these people who were just blankly staring at her.

"Oh, forget it, I'll just call them myself," she gritted her teeth angrily, reaching for the phone in her pocket.

"No… Don't do it," a grunting male voice said.

Clarke looked down only to see that the injured guy was coming to his senses. He was trying to open his eyes, but he was not succeeding because of his swollen purple eyelids.

"Sir, can you hear me? Can you tell me your name?" Clarke asked the two questions she used so often, gripping the guy's shoulders and hoping he doesn't go out of consciousness again.

"Yeah. My name's Bellamy Blake. Please don't call the ambulance, I'm fine," he stuttered, groaning in pain as he brought his hand to his head and touched his forehead.

"You are not okay and you need to go to the hospital immediately. And if you do not want me to call the ambulance, I'll take you there myself. Could you help me get him to my car?" Clarke turned to the two guys standing behind her, staring at the scene in front of them.

The blonde didn't think they'd listen so she was surprised when one of them tried to grab Bellamy's shoulders and the other his feet. The injured guy just shook them off angrily.

"I can walk by myself, thank you very much," he said with a sarcastic tone in his voice. "Dumbasses," he muttered as he started to get up. The crowd slowly cleared up, none of them interested anymore now that the guy was up and talking.

When he managed to get himself off the ground, his ankle gave away and he almost fell back down. He swore under his breath.

Clarke got to him quickly and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Come on, you're coming with me."

"Fuck you, blondie," Bellamy hissed, trying to free himself from Clarke's grip. "Not going anywhere with you, especially not the hospital," he was unmistakably very drunk, barely forming sentences.

"Yes, you are. I'm a doctor and I can help you," Clarke was trying to stay calm as she helped him walk to her car. She's dealt with drunks plenty of times and some of them were a lot worse than this one.

But why the hell was she helping him when he clearly didn't want help? Any person with common sense would leave him there and let him do whatever he wanted, even if that meant dying.

He could've been a murderer, a rapist, a thief and yet there she was, shoving him in the front seat of her car. That has always been her problem. She always wanted to see the best in people and she got hurt for being wrong too many times.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bellamy asked when she started the car. He was talking quietly, but with anger in his voice as he leaned his head on the window, hissing in pain.

"I can't just leave you there to die! I would feel guilty for the rest of my life!"

"I'm not fucking dying. Jeez, you need to chill," he muttered. "And if you take me to the hospital, I swear to God, I will jump out of the car and then you'll be responsible for my death."

"Why do you keep insisting that? What reason could you possibly have to risk your life and not let the doctors help you? Do you really have a death wish?" Clarke raised her voice. He was really starting to annoy her.

Bellamy didn't say anything for a while and Clarke started to fear that he fell asleep. Just when she was about to check up on him, he turned his head to look at her.

"I don't have health insurance, okay?" he said quietly, looking ashamed. "I'm a nobody and I can't afford being in a hospital for more than five minutes."

He was now looking straight at Clarke and she could see so much emotion in those big, brown eyes. She saw pain, sadness, guilt, grief, but most of all she saw how this man completely lost faith in himself.

Clarke felt her chest tighten. Although she didn't know him at all, her heart ached for him. This was a broken man, a man who had nothing and no one. A man who lost everything. A man who lost himself.

And once she realized how broken he was, her need to help him just grew stronger.

"Okay," she sighed after a long moment of silence. "I won't take you to the hospital. But you need to let me do a checkup and clean your wounds. Because even if you don't have a concussion, that ugly thing on your head could cause a massive infection and then you'll have to be in a hospital for way more than five minutes."

Bellamy sighed in relief, but still didn't seem too keen on Clarke's proposition.

"Fine," he finally agreed.

Clarke asked for his address so that she could take him there and do what was needed to get him in a somewhat normal state. It's not like she could take him to her own apartment because he would surely object. Besides, he was still just a stranger and going to his place was crazy enough.

"So, can you finally tell me what happened?" she asked him, not only to avoid the silence during the drive, but also to keep him from falling asleep.

He hesitated for a moment, but eventually he started to talk.

"I got drunk."

"Obviously," Clarke stated, interrupting him. "You reek of alcohol."

He rolled his eyes, but continued with his story. "Me and this guy Pike… We go way back. It's way too complicated for me to explain it to you now. Anyways, it didn't take a lot to piss him off and he beat me up. He's obviously a lot stronger than me, but that wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't so fucking wasted. Otherwise I would've won the fight."

Clarke snorted, earning a burning glare from Bellamy.

"You don't think I'd beat him? I'm a cop, you know. I'm well trained."

" _You_ are a cop?" her eyes went wide. He looked like he was homeless, not a police officer.

"Well, I was a cop," he muttered, lowering his head.

She was dying to know what happened to him, but she didn't want to push it any further. It was obvious he didn't like to talk about that topic. So she just shut her mouth and focused on the road ahead.

"Turn left by that bar, my building's right behind the corner," Bellamy stated after a few minutes of agonizing silence.

Clarke parked the car in front of the old building which looked as it could tumble down any moment. But she wasn't surprised – she figured he wouldn't live in a very nice place.

"Let me just grab the med kit from the trunk. Will you be able to walk up the stairs?" she asked him, already knowing the answer. He barely got out of his seat and was now leaning on her car.

"The building has an elevator," he sniffed. "It's about a million years old, but it usually does its job. Let's hope it doesn't let us down this time."

Bellamy refused when she offered him help in getting inside the building. He said he still has _some_ dignity left and limped his way in.

Once they were in his apartment, Clarke let out a silent gasp.

It couldn't even be called an apartment. It was a run-down little room, consisting of a couch which had seen better days, a small TV, a coffee table with empty liquor bottles and packs of cigarettes on it, a battered piece of furniture which resembled a wardrobe pushed carelessly against the wall and a tiny stove with what used to be a cupboard hanging above it in one corner. There was also a door on one of the walls, probably leading to a bathroom. Clarke didn't even want to imagine what the bathroom looked like.

Bellamy plopped down on the couch and looked at Clarke who was trying to suppress her astonishment. For her it was hard to believe that somebody could live in such a place when she grew up in a huge house, having everything she needed and more. She wasn't in a bad place now either. As a resident in the Mayo clinic, she had a nice salary and could afford a cozy apartment in a nice part of town.

"Welcome to my kingdom," he smirked, spreading his arms. "Lovely, isn't it?"

"I…" Clarke opened her mouth, but stopped herself in time. She shook her head. "Whatever, I'm not here to question your way of living," she threw the med kit on the couch next to him and sat on the coffee table, trying not to knock down empty bourbon bottles in the process.

She asked him to bring a wet towel, clean if possible and was pleasantly surprised when he actually provided it. She used it to wipe the dried blood off his face.

She was trying to be as gentle as possible, but he still hissed at her and protested when she'd accidentally touch one of the many cuts on his face. He was especially rude when she fixed his broken nose.

"I'm sorry, but you basically did this to yourself. You're the one who got in trouble and you should now accept the consequences."

He rolled his eyes at her and grunted in disagreement, but didn't say anything. Clarke was grateful for that.

As she wiped the blood away and revealed more of Bellamy's face, she realized he was actually quite handsome. Despite the swelling, his eyes were big and brown and beautiful, his lips full and his nose and cheeks filled with adorable little freckles. His hair would've been really lovely too, if it hadn't been filled with dried blood. And underneath the shirt he was wearing, strong muscles were visible, supporting his statement about being well trained.

In any other circumstances, Clarke would surely find him very attractive.

"Okay, the gash on your forehead stopped bleeding and it doesn't look that bad when cleaned," she said to him, still holding a hand on the top of his head, pushing his soft dark curls back so she could have access to the wound. "But you're definitely going to need a few stitches. I'm not going to lie, it'll hurt. But you're a big boy, I'm sure you can take it," she smirked at him.

"Just do whatever it takes so we're done here and I can get rid of you," he grinned innocently at her. The effect of the alcohol was slowly wearing off, but he still wasn't nowhere near sobriety.

Stitching didn't go as bad as Clarke thought it would. He pushed through it with only a few curses and when they were finally done, he said something that really surprised her.

"Thank you, dr. Griffin."

"You are welcome," she smiled at him. She was so blown away by the fact that he actually thanked her that it took her a while to realize that she hadn't introduced herself at all.

"Wait, how do you know my name?"

"You still have your nameplate on," Bellamy pointed to her chest.

"Oh. Right. Well, my work is done here. Just make sure you don't fall asleep and if you start getting those symptoms I told you about, go see a doctor. I'm serious," she said, getting up from the coffee table and taking her med kit. She was almost at the door when she turned around and said something she'd regret later.

"I hope you find a way out of this…situation you're in. I hope you get better and I hope you get your life back," she gave him a genuine smile, but something that she said obviously hurt him badly because fire appeared in his eyes as he leaned forward and started spitting words at her.

"You don't know anything about me! You don't get to judge me and make assumptions about me! You come here, rich little girl with your hotshot position at Mayo, offering help when I didn't ask for it, thinking you understand me and that you can control my life and inspire me to fix myself! Well, guess what – I don't want to be fixed," he said bitterly.

"Now get out," he leaned back in his seat, looking defeated, refusing to look at Clarke.

Clarke shut the door loudly behind her, constantly repeating in her head that his words didn't get to her, didn't hurt her. But she couldn't help it. She was on the verge of tears as she sat in her car and drove away.

And despite the fact that she hated him for what he had said to her, she couldn't stop thinking about him for days after that night.

* * *

 **If you guys do decide you want more of this, let me know if you'd like the next chapter or the one after that to be from Bellamy's POV or another one from Clarke's or maybe combined? I really want to know your opinions!**

 **Don't forget to review!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys!_

 _Thanks to the great responses I got for the first chapter, I've decided to continue this story! Keep doing that, reviews make me write faster :)_

 _I know that some people were worried that I was making Bellamy a bad guy, but I would never to that! Bellamy Blake is so precious and I love him so much and I'm sure you'll see that as the fic goes on. Okay, just wanted to get that out!_

* * *

„I was actually pretty surprised you called. Weren't you supposed to meet up with Finn today?" Clarke asked her best friend, bringing a fork to her lips.

They were sitting in a restaurant just a few blocks away from the hospital in which Clarke and Finn worked. Clarke went to lunch there almost every day (if she wasn't too busy), either with her colleagues or her friends.

Raven shrugged, popping a piece of pasta in her mouth. „Things between me and Finn didn't really work out."

Clarke shifted in her seat. She was not expecting to hear something like that from Raven. Clarke was the one who set Raven and Finn up a few weeks ago and they seemed to have really liked each other when they first met.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, don't be," the brunette waved it off, making it seem like it wasn't a big deal at all. "We only went on like four dates and I realized I can't be with him like that. I need someone who will challenge me and have fun with me and Finn's just…not that guy for me. Besides, it's pretty obvious he has a huge crush on you."

Clarke snorted, almost choking on her food. "Finn does not have a crush on me."

"He totally does," Raven rolled her eyes. "And if you like him too, you have my approval. Seriously, I won't mind if you guys get together. It's not like I'm in love with him or something," she sipped on her wine casually like she was talking about weather instead of the possibility of her best friend being with her ex.

"Raven, I assure you once more, Finn doesn't look at me in that way," the blonde pointed a finger at her friend. "But even if he does, I can't return those feelings to him. Besides, the last thing I need right now is a relationship."

Just when Clarke thought the discussion was over, the other girl had something more to say.

"Will you ever need a relationship?" Raven let out an exasperated breath. "Clarke, I've known you for almost four years now and in those four years you haven't dated anyone for longer than a month! Don't you want to fall in love?" She put her elbows on the table and looked at Clarke. She was determined to stare at her until she got a real answer.

"You know what happened the last time I was in love," Clarke looked down on her hands, avoiding her friend's death stare.

"That was five years ago!" Raven raised her voice, annoyed. They've had this same argument about a hundred times already.

"I didn't know you back then and I can't imagine what you've been through when Wells died, but you're not the only person who lost someone they loved. And when you lose someone, you need to find a way to move on, no matter how hard it is. You're 28 years old, Clarke. You can't live in the past for the rest of your life."

The last part came out quietly and Raven's heart ached when she saw the pained expression on her friend's face. But she didn't want to let go of the topic. Clarke was a great doctor. She had a big heart and a lot of compassion for her patients. But when it came to her private life and relationships with other people, she was reserved and often cold. She didn't let herself feel much and Raven was one of the few friends Clarke had.

Clarke was silent for a long time until she finally decided to look at her friend. Her eyes were shiny from the tears threatening to fall.

"I have to go. My lunch break is about to end and I have rounds to do and a surgery in two hours…" she grabbed her bag and before Raven could say goodbye, Clarke was already out of the door.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Lincoln opened the door of his house, eagerly waiting to see his girlfriend after a long day at work. She ran to him almost immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him all over his face.

He laughed, delighted to see Octavia so excited.

"Someone's in a good mood today," he said, wrapping his arm around her and placing a kiss on her temple. "I take it the doctor's appointment went well?"

Octavia nodded, her bright blue eyes shining like diamonds. A huge grin spread across her beautiful face and Lincoln couldn't help but smile, too. Her joy was contagious.

"It went extremely well! Our baby is doing great," she stroked her belly gently. She was now four months pregnant and her baby bump just recently started to show.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, babe." Her face looked tiny in Lincoln's big hands as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "You know I had a meeting with people who came all the way from Japan and I couldn't just cancel on them…"

"I understand, don't worry," Octavia whispered gently. "That's why I got you a photo of the ultrasound!" she hopped up and down and pulled a photo from the back pocket of her jeans.

"The baby's still pretty small so it's hard to see anything, but look," she pointed to a spot on the left side of the picture, "there's the head. And the doctor said that at my next appointment we'll get to find out if it's a boy or a girl and…"

Octavia's voice started shaking and Lincoln felt her shoulders tense under his arm. Tears started to form in her eyes and that's when he started to worry.

He was used to her mood swings by now – they weren't so frequent and he's learned to deal with them when they occurred. But this wasn't one of Octavia's mood swings – something was really bothering her this time.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Lincoln asked in the gentlest way possible as he used his two fingers to lift her chin up.

A few tears spilled down her cheeks and she took a deep breath before she started talking.

"It's just… This baby is the best thing that's ever happened to me and the fact that I can't share it with my brother is tearing me apart!" Octavia was almost sobbing now, clutching the front of Lincoln's shirt with her fingers.

"I wish he weren't so damn stubborn and stupid," she stuttered as Lincoln wrapped both of his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I wish that too, honey," Lincoln murmured quietly into her hair, caressing her back in slow circular movements.

"Are you sure you don't want to try and talk to him again? Maybe listen to what he has to say?"

"No, Lincoln!" Octavia freed herself from his grip and started pacing nervously around the living room. "He's said enough! I don't think I want to talk to him ever again."

* * *

It's been exactly a week since Clarke and Bellamy's first encounter. It was the encounter that hasn't exactly ended in a best way possible and there was absolutely no reason for Clarke to want to see him again. And yet, she couldn't get him out of her head for an entire week.

Was he okay? Was his wound healing properly? Did he put ice on his ankle like Clarke instructed?

She didn't even know who he was and she was so worried about him. The reason for that must've been that she saw him as her patient and she was used to worrying about her patients and taking care of them. At least that's what she's been telling herself this whole time.

It was Saturday morning and Clarke had just finished her night shift. It actually turned into a morning shift too, but she was used to it.

It was the middle of the summer and the sun was shining so hard that Clarke almost fainted when she left the hospital building.

She started her car, a million thoughts storming through her mind. In her head, she kept replaying the conversation she had with Raven the other day.

Raven was completely right and Clarke was very aware of that.

She was aware that lately she's become this cold, closed off person who barely let anyone touch the firm wall she's built around herself. She buried herself in her work, afraid that if she let anyone in and allow herself to actually feel something, she'd get her heart crushed again.

Clarke's thoughts drifted and she drove around the city for a while, hoping to clear her mind a bit. She was sipping on the coffee she picked up along the way, not thinking much about where she was going. She just followed a familiar road and found herself in front of Bellamy's building.

She stared at the building in front of her and slammed her head against the steering wheel a couple of times, hoping the action would wake her up from this delirious state she was obviously in.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. What the hell was she thinking? How on Earth did she get here? She must've had a heat stroke. That was the only logical explanation. All this sun was making her irrational.

"Well, since I'm already here," she murmured to herself, "I might as well get out of the car and make an even bigger fool of myself."

She knocked on the door three times, half-hoping no one would answer the door and she could just run away and pretend like she wasn't even there.

But it didn't take long for the door to open, revealing Bellamy in only his boxer shorts and an old T-shirt. His hair was messy and he looked like he woke up recently.

When he saw Clarke, he banged his head against the doorframe and let out a dramatic groan.

"Why are you here?" He tilted his head and his eyes narrowed, expecting an answer from Clarke.

She was pleased to see that his wounds have been healing properly. His eyelids weren't swollen anymore, his lip almost healed and the shape of his nose was normal. He should consider himself lucky. Some people needed surgery after having their noses broken.

Clarke swallowed. Now that his face was a lot less purple than the last time she saw him, he looked incredibly hot. Those big brown eyes were brighter and the way his dark hair curled on his forehead was just adorable.

She cleared her throat when she realized she hasn't said anything yet, blush spreading across her cheeks. "Well, I came here to check if you didn't die from brain hemorrhage because if you did, I'd consider myself responsible. You're obviously alive so I guess I can go on with my life," she said, turning around to leave. Coming there was a huge mistake and she was fighting the urge to run back to her car.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked quietly, making her turn around to face him again.

"I mean, you're obviously in desperate need of my company. Who am I to deprive you of that?"

Clarke rolled her eyes, but a small smile appeared on her lips. "I'll come inside if you put some pants on," she pointed at his bare legs.

He shrugged, turning around to go back in the apartment. She noticed that he was still limping, but she didn't manage to get a very good look of his ankle. Clarke followed him and shut the door behind her.

"I'd rather not, but if it's really distracting you _that_ much…" He said as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the back of the couch and pulled it on quickly.

Clarke chose to ignore his comment and sat on the couch instead, playing nervously with the hem of her baby pink button-up shirt. She looked around the apartment – it was still a mess, but at least he got rid of those empty bourbon bottles.

"Well, I can't say I don't see some improvements since the last time I saw you. For starters, it's 11 am and you're not drunk yet!" Clarke pointed out. It seemed like sarcasm was the only language Bellamy used so she decided to play his game.

"That doesn't mean I don't intend to be," Bellamy smirked and plopped down on the couch next to Clarke. "Do you want some coffee or something?" He looked at her and caught her staring at him.

She crossed her arms on her chest and smirked at him in amusement. "Are you saying you actually have something other than alcohol in this place?"

He glared at her like he was going to make another witty comment, but she cut him off. "Thanks for the offer, but I had a latte on my way here."

"As you wish," Bellamy shrugged. "I suppose my coffee isn't fancy enough for you," he teased.

Clarke ignored him once more and chose to focus on what she was really there for instead. "Have you been taking care of that wound the way I instructed?" She pointed at the bandage on his forehead.

"Yes, boss. I've been keeping the wound clean and dry, making sure it doesn't get infected and changing the bandages on regular basis," he scratched his head. "Though I did run out of bandages yesterday…"

"I think I have some in my purse," said Clarke, already reaching for her bag.

"Of course you do," Bellamy stated, earning himself an annoyed glare from the blonde.

She took the used bandage from his forehead slowly and carefully, trying to ignore the electricity that ran through her body when her fingers grazed his skin.

"You won't need any more bandages. The wound looks good and sutures are ready to be removed. Which is what I'm going to do right now."

Bellamy winced and Clarke snorted in response.

"Oh, come on. It's a standard and painless procedure. You've endured stitching last week without any problems, getting them out should be piece of cake," she took out the already prepared kit from her bag and cleaned her hands with some antibacterial liquid.

"You may feel a slight pull," she said as she wiped his wound with an antiseptic, "but you're a big boy. I'm sure you can handle it," she smirked and patted his head.

Bellamy's only reply was a grunt which she took as a sign of agreement.

To Clarke's surprise, he sat still without any unnecessary comments during the whole process. When she was done, she placed an adhesive strip on his forehead and smiled at him.

"There. You survived."

"Thanks," he murmured, not taking his eyes off her like he wanted to say more, but didn't have the courage to do it.

"No problem," she whispered, thinking that maybe she was staring at his eyes for too long, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. "I was just doing my job."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to. I'm really grateful for that, Clarke," Bellamy said with more seriousness than she ever heard in his voice, taking her completely off guard.

She would never admit it, but she loved the way her name sounded coming from his lips.

Since she couldn't muster up the strength to say something in response, Bellamy went on.

"And I'm really sorry for what I said the last time you were here. You were so nice to me and I was such a dick to you. Why do I have to act like that all the time?" The last part he said more to himself than to her.

"I really didn't mean what I said. Well, I did mean some of it, but I shouldn't have said it that way."

In that moment it occurred to Clarke that this was why she came back to see him. Even though he was mean to her, she knew that wasn't who he really was. She saw the vulnerability and fragility behind his words. Somehow she guessed that there was a kind soul beneath the harsh exterior. He was like a rough diamond – still beautiful, but he needed a little help to shine.

"I agree, but you were also right about something," she leaned back in the couch to make herself more comfortable. "I shouldn't have made assumptions about you."

He let out a sort of a sad laugh. "The joke's on me, actually. You kind of made the right assumptions."

A frown appeared between Clarke's brows as she waited for his explanation.

"I'm really messed up," he looked down at his lap, avoiding her eyes. "There are things you couldn't even imagine when assuming stuff about me. That's why you should stay as far away from me as possible. But you seem really bad at doing that, huh?" He chuckled.

"Do you always do that? Push people away?" She asked, making him look up. She didn't ask the question in a mean way, but out of pure curiosity.

There was surprise in his eyes, probably because she was being so straightforward. He shrugged.

"I do mostly, I guess."

"What about your family? Do you have any? Did you push them away too?"

Clarke was afraid she might be asking too much questions, but she couldn't help herself. She needed to know these things for some reason. She needed to know him better. Fortunately, Bellamy didn't seem to mind this time.

Hurt flashed in his eyes, probably caused by memories flooding back when he heard Clarke's question. "I have a sister. But we don't talk anymore-"

He was cut off by the loud bang on the door. His eyes were wide when he looked at Clarke.

The door trembled from the force of the blow one more time, followed by an angry male voice.

"Open the fucking door, Blake! I know you're in there, I can hear you!"

Clarke felt her heartbeat speed up when she heard the threatening tone coming from the other side of the door.

"Shit," Bellamy muttered and ran his fingers through his hair. He got up from the couch rapidly, panic spreading across his face.

"You have to hide in the bathroom, now," he said to Clarke quietly, shoving her bag in her hands. There was urgency in his voice and she got up instantly, making her way to the only remaining door in the apartment.

"Do not make a sound," Bellamy pleaded and she just nodded, following his orders.

Whoever was behind the front door must be very dangerous since he made Bellamy so panicked. When Clarke reached the bathroom and locked herself inside, she slid down to the floor, trembling with fear.

* * *

 **I'm sorry about the cliffhanger, but I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible!**

 **So what do you think, who's at the door? How did you like Raven, Octavia and Lincoln? What are your thougts on Bellarke moment in this chapter? Don't forget to review :)**

 **You can also check my Tumblr and ask me stuff. My url is blakeesgriffin**


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for all the support I've been getting from you guys! I really appreciate it and I'll do my best to keep making you happy! :)_

 _I'm not sure about this chapter so reviews are very welcome. I want to know your opinions!_

* * *

Clarke was seated on the cold bathroom floor, her body pressed firmly on the door. The feel of the cool tiles underneath her heated hands was pleasant – it brought her back to reality. It made her stop shaking with fear and focus on what was happening in the other room instead.

She heard Bellamy open the front door silently. Even though the sound was muffled, she could decipher the words coming out of both of their mouths.

The first spoken words were challenging, almost threatening ."Do you have a guest, Blake?"

"No, why would you think that?" Bellamy spoke. His voice was strong and confident, but it was obvious he was trying hard not to show fear.

"I heard you talking to someone," his voice was deep and serious and he spoke with so much malice that just listening to him speak sent chills down Clarke's spine.

"It was the TV. I-I was talking to the TV," Clarke heard him stutter a little. _It's over,_ she thought. _He's going to find me and do bad things to me._

"The TV's off," the other guy said suspiciously.

"Yeah, I just turned it off."

The guy obviously chose to ignore Bellamy's odd behavior. Clarke sighed in relief. _I might still have a chance to live._

"I hope you have my money."

Money? Did Bellamy owe someone money? Was that what Bellamy was talking about when he said those things earlier?

"Of course I do," Bellamy replied.

"Here you go," Bellamy said after a few agonizing seconds.

 _Please leave,_ Clarke thought, her eyes tightly shut. _You have what you want, you can go now._

But he obviously didn't hear Clarke's silent pleads because he went on.

"Listen, Blake. I didn't like what you pulled off in TonDC last Friday. You can't just come to me like that saying you want out. You're not the one who makes decisions. And if you try to be sassy like that one more time… You won't end up with only a few cuts and bruises, all right?"

And then it occurred to Clarke – that tough guy was Pike! The realization made Clarke even more scared. If that was the guy who gave someone as strong as Bellamy those kinds of injuries, he must've been really dangerous.

There was silence for a moment and Clarke assumed that Bellamy nodded because Pike finally decided to leave.

"Good boy," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'll see you soon, don't you worry. I'll have a new delivery ready for you in a few days."

With that, he was gone, shutting the door with a loud bang behind him. Clarke heard Bellamy let out a sigh in relief.

She got up slowly, her legs feeling like they're made of jelly. She didn't know how she managed to stand on her own two feet after what she'd just witnessed.

She opened the door, taking a deep breath before coming out to face Bellamy.

He was slumped against the door, his head in his hands.

He looked up when he heard her emerging from the bathroom, his eyes filled with guilt and regret.

"I'm sorry you had to hear all that, Clarke," he sounded defeated.

She sat on the couch and pulled her legs toward her chest, hugging her knees with her hands.

"Was that Pike?" Clarke mentally scolded herself when she heard how shaky her voice was.

Bellamy nodded, expecting her to say more, to ask more.

"What kind of delivery was he talking about? Bellamy, are you dealing drugs?" She asked the first thing, the only thing that came to her mind when _delivery_ was mentioned.

She waited anxiously for his answer, praying that he would say no. She wasn't sure if she'd handle it if it was the other way around.

Bellamy let out an exasperated breath and rubbed his face with his hand. He finally moved from his place by the door and stepped forward.

Clarke knew the answer to her question just by looking at the pained expression on Bellamy's face.

"You are! Oh my god, I'm sitting in a drug dealer's apartment," she started to panic, tearing her eyes away from him. She wanted to get up, but it felt like she was glued to her seat.

"I'm actually talking to a criminal right now!" An incredulous sound came from the back of Clarke's throat.

She was clutching her bag tightly in her lap, her eyes roaming around the apartment like she was going to find something that would get her out of this unbelievable situation she was in.

"No, Clarke, please let me explain -"Bellamy pleaded. He outstretched his hand like he was going to reach out for Clarke, but he looked like he changed his mind in the last moment.

Clarke got up from her seat and started pacing around the apartment nervously.

"How could you possibly explain this? How could you make me understand what you're doing?"

"I'm not saying you have to understand," Bellamy said and sat on the couch. "I just want you to know that this is not something I want to be doing. It's something that I'm forced to do. There's no other way."

"There's always a way!" Clarke exclaimed, anger rising inside of her.

Bellamy sighed and looked at her with hope in his eyes. He patted the empty space next to him where Clarke was seated just a few moments ago, inviting her to join him.

"Could you please sit? Five minutes. That's all I'm asking for."

She stared at him with a frown on her face for a few more moments, but eventually she decided to give him a chance.

She sat down on the couch reluctantly, keeping a solid distance from him.

"Fine. Talk," she spat, refusing to look at him. She felt incredibly uncomfortable.

"You know how I told you that I used to be a cop?"

"Yeah, but that was obviously a lie since a cop is the last thing you could be. What I don't understand is why you had the need to tell me such a lie," Clarke stated. Multiple emotions were boiling inside of her – anger, confusion, fear and regret.

Bellamy ran his hand through his already messy hair. Even though he was the one who wanted to talk, he looked like saying actual words hurt him physically.

"I was telling the truth, Clarke. I was a police officer and then two years ago things started happening to me… Ugly things. For some of those things I was responsible and for some I wasn't. And don't ask me to explain because then you'll think I want your pity. Which is the last thing I need right now."

Clarke had the urge to interrupt him and tell him to stop talking. He was just talking in puzzles and she wanted to get up and go home without hearing his story which might have easily been fake. But something – curiosity, mostly – pushed her to listen to him.

"I guess you could say I found myself on crossroads, having to choose between two paths. And obviously – I chose the wrong path. I started getting really drunk and I lost my job. That happened last year. At that point in my life, my job was the only thing I had left and when I lost it, I went completely over the edge. I was desperate because after getting fired in one police station, I couldn't get a job in any police station. And I didn't want to do anything else."

He reached for the box of cigarettes lying on the coffee table, but changed his mind. Clarke already hated him enough, he didn't need dr. Griffin giving him lectures about how bad smoking is.

"So in a moment of weakness, I reached out to Pike. I've heard of him before since we've been trying to catch him for years but we could never find proofs against him. Of course he did a background check of me and it took me quite a long time to convince him I have no interest in being a cop anymore. And then I started…working for him. It was an easy way to earn money – that's what I thought in the beginning. But I'm getting a lot less money than I expected. So last week I decided that it's not worth it. I've been thinking about it for a while and I finally got the courage to tell Pike I want out. But instead of giving me what I want, he beat the living shit out of me."

Clarke stared at him in disbelief. This was way messier than she expected. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a shaky breath. She was about to say something when Bellamy opened his mouth again.

"You have no idea how horrible I feel. I've never tried the stuff myself, but I feel like the biggest shit on earth when I sell it to those young kids. In a way I'm helping them ruin their lives, you know? And when I became a cop, all I wanted to do was save lives. Now I've become something I dreaded becoming the most."

His voice cracked a bit in the end of his speech and Clarke almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"Bellamy, you can't possibly say to me that you don't have a choice. There's always a choice! What you're doing is fucking awful. It's even worse than taking the drugs yourself because you're not just ruining your own life. You're practically destroying the lives of people you sell it to!" Clarke snapped at him, even angrier than before.

"There are other ways to earn money! Legal ways! Have you thought about getting a job, maybe?" her voice was heavy with sarcasm.

Bellamy stood up, his eyes squeezed shut like not looking at Clarke would make her words less true.

"You don't understand, Clarke! Even if I did get a job, I'd still have to work for Pike! You've heard what he'd said earlier, he'd fucking kill me if I tried to defy him again! I can't even imagine what would happen if he found out I have a sister. He'd surely threaten her too. I'm in deep and I can't get out."

He was shouting now, probably more angry at himself than at Clarke.

She was silent for a long time, leaving Bellamy anxiously waiting for her reaction. Finally, she got up and walked slowly towards the door.

"Bellamy, I'm really sorry, but this is too much for me. I have faith in you, I really do," she said sadly with her hand already on the doorknob. Her heart ached at the sight of him looking at her with a pained expression on his face.

"But I can't handle this right now. Please take care of yourself. And let me know when you decide to make some changes in your life."

With that, she left.

* * *

Clarke was nestled in her bed, propped against a bundle of soft pillows. It was her day off and she decided to spend it watching cheesy movies and eating ice cream all day.

She was halfway through the third movie when her phone rang. She picked up the ringing devil, groaning when she had to move from her warm spot on the bed to reach it.

Relief flooded her when she saw that it was her best friend calling and not someone from work.

"Hey girl, what's going on?" Clarke said cheerfully on the phone.

"I need to ask you something," Raven declared from the other side, her voice sounding more serious than usual.

"Sure… What's up?" The blonde asked slowly, some of the ice cream still melting in her mouth. Being serious wasn't very common for Raven. Her voice was normally light all the time and she was constantly making jokes.

"I met a guy."

"Okay. Why are you being weird about it? Is that a bad thing?" Clarke set down her Rocky road, suddenly very intrigued about what her friend has to say.

"No, it's very good, actually," from the tone of her voice, Clarke knew Raven was smiling.

"I really like him. I haven't liked anyone like that in a while," Raven continued. "And it's sort of freaking me out," she said nervously.

The other girl chuckled. Raven was almost never nervous and this was hilarious in a way.

"Look, Rae, I know you're afraid of commitment, but you're going to have to settle someday. I'm not saying it has to be now, but if you really like this guy, you should totally give it a shot."

"Look who's saying," Raven said.

"Okay, spill the beans. I want to know everything about this mysterious man who has won your heart," Clarke exclaimed.

She could almost hear Raven roll her eyes.

"His name is John, but he prefers to be called Murphy. He's a cop, but like a totally cool one. He's a bit grumpy and sarcastic and that's okay because I'm like that too. Now we can be grumpy and sarcastic together."

"We've only went out a couple of times, but we've been texting each other all the time. And even though I've only known him for a short period of time, I can really feel the connection. I know I sound stupid," Raven was trying to hide the obvious – that she was totally smitten.

"You don't sound stupid at all," Clarke smiled, ignoring the fact that the feeling Raven described was familiar to her in a way.

"Anyway, what I wanted to ask you was if it would be okay to invite Murphy to Harper and Monroe's gig at the Dropship this Saturday."

"Of course! Why wouldn't it be okay? I'm dying to meet him!"

"Alright then. God, I hope you guys will like him. I feel kind of anxious about introducing him to my friends. I mean, Jasper and Monty are going to be there too and they're like a complete opposite of Murphy, but I think they should get along once they meet him. 'Cause he's pretty great."

"You need to relax, okay?" Clarke chuckled. "If you think he's great, I'm sure we'll think that too. And I promise we won't embarrass you too much, okay?"

Raven snorted. "Yeah, I wouldn't make any promises if I were you. When you guys have a little too much alcohol, you can be pretty embarrassing. Like you aren't embarrassing enough sober."

"Raven Reyes, these are your friends you're talking about! Now hang up the phone before you can insult us some more!" The blonde joked.

"Okay, okay. I'll see you Saturday."

* * *

As he was approaching the information desk at the Mayo clinic, Bellamy was freaking out a little bit. The woman behind the desk was probably going to want to hear more than 'I'm here to see dr. Griffin' and he didn't even know what kind of a doctor Clarke was.

He needed a plan and he needed it fast.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"Um, I'm here to see dr. Clarke Griffin."

"Are you her patient?"

"No, I just need to see her for a moment," Bellamy muttered.

The woman spared him an annoying glance. She had a stern expression on her face. "Does she know you'll be visiting her?" The damn woman was persistent.

"No, I actually found her wallet and I'm here to return it to her," he was coming up with a lie as he spoke. "Could you tell me in which department she works?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that. Dr. Griffin is currently at work and I'm sure she has no time for receiving unwanted visitors. Perhaps you could leave the wallet here so I can forward it to her?"

"I'd rather give it to her myself," Bellamy forced a smile. "Could you at least call her to come down here?"

The receptionist sighed and rolled her eyes when she thought Bellamy wasn't looking. "I can try, but I doubt she'll answer. Doctors are very busy people, you know," she picked up the phone and typed a number in it.

"Thank you for your effort," he gritted his teeth.

"Hello, dr. Griffin. It's Indra from the info desk. There's a man asking for you. He claims he's found your wallet."

Clarke said something that made Indra frown and glare at Bellamy furiously.

"Dr. Griffin says she didn't lose her wallet," she said.

"Just tell her my name's Bellamy Blake." Yeah, like that would help. She made it very clear that she doesn't want to do anything with him the last time they saw each other which was more than two weeks ago. Bellamy would hardly admit it to her, but he really wanted to see those blue eyes again.

And he couldn't stand the idea that the owner of those pretty eyes thought he was a terrible person.

Which surprised him, really, because he usually didn't give a fuck about what people thought about him.

Indra hung up the phone and stared at him with the same scary expression on her face.

"Wait for her, she'll be here in a minute," she seemed like she wasn't pleased about the fact that Clarke agreed to see him.

Bellamy felt his palms sweating as he waited to catch a glimpse of gold hair against the dull – colored walls of the hospital lobby. He debated for quite a while with himself whether he should reach out to Clarke or just leave her alone.

He knew that the latter would be a better choice, but he felt like he needed to prove Clarke that he can indeed be a better person. She was a very challenging woman and her words really inspired him to try to fix himself. And there was no way he was going to miss the opportunity to talk to her again.

* * *

 **I know that most of you'll probably be angry that I made Bellamy a drug dealer, but it's crucial to the story and his character. I know what I'm doing, don't worry! We'll find out some more about his past in the next chapter!**

 **Also, aren't you glad that he finally got his head out of his ass and decided to talk to Clarke? Lol jk, he's my baby**

 **Oooh and let me know what you think about Raven and Murphy? I really like the idea of them being together, even though I don't ship them on the show.**

 **Check out my Tumblr (url:blakeesgriffin)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys!_

 _I'm so sorry that this chapter is late! I wrote like the third of it and then my laptop broke and I had to start all over again on my old laptop which I don't use normally because it's super slow and it was a nightmare to write there. Conclusion: I need a new laptop lol._

 _I hope you'll like this chapter and don't forget to review, let me know what you think!_

* * *

As Bellamy watched Clarke leave the elevator and make her way toward the info desk where he was standing, he was mentally going through things he was going to say to her. By the time she reached him, he forgot everything and his mind was completely blank.

She spotted him after he saw her. He expected her to look angry, but she just seemed surprised and just a tad irritated.

He knew her appearance was the last thing he should be thinking about in that moment, but he couldn't help but notice that she looked even prettier than the last time he saw her. Her hair, usually in a messy bun on the top of her head, was now falling down in golden locks, framing her lovely face. Her blue eyes were wide and they seemed to shine brighter than before.

Instead of her white coat, she was wearing a floral-printed summer dress. Since the summer was near its end, she draped a thin jacket over her shoulders.

Bellamy noticed that she carried her bag with her so she must've planned to leave the hospital soon.

"Bellamy. What brings you here?" The blonde asked, one of her hands propped against her hip.

He glanced at Indra before answering Clarke's question. The woman behind the info desk was giving him a piercing look.

"I want to talk to you," he finally spoke, his voice coming out a little weaker than he would've wanted.

"What's there to talk about?" A frown appeared on Clarke's face. "I thought I'd made myself very clear the last time when we saw each other," her words might've seemed harsh if the tone of her voice didn't give her away.

"You told me to let you know when I decide to change," Bellamy said quietly, not wanting to give Indra the satisfaction of overhearing their conversation.

Clarke's eyebrows shot up and she stared at him for a moment, stunned by his words. She probably didn't expect him to actually consider listening to her advice.

"Okay. Let's go outside," she suggested, leading him through the door.

A few minutes later they were seated in a coffee shop near the hospital. Their trip there was awkward and they barely exchanged a few words.

It was a nice and cozy place with little tables, comfy couches and brightly colored walls. Bellamy was sure that, in any other scenario, he would've felt peaceful in this ambient, but there was so much tension in the air between him and Clarke that he felt like he might explode.

It was obvious that she shared his discomfort. She was glancing nervously around the coffee shop like she'd never been there before. Her untouched cup of coffee was getting cold in front of her.

"Well," she was the one who broke the silence, "you're the one who wanted to talk. So talk."

"Look, Clarke," he cleared his throat. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now and that you don't have to listen to any of my explanations so I really appreciate that you've agreed to talk to me. The way we left things the last time we spoke made me feel terrible and I…"

His voice was shaky and he was stuttering way more than he liked. The chances were minimal that he was going to find the right words to say what was really on his mind.

"For some reason I don't want you to think that I'm this shady, awful criminal. There's more to me than that, trust me. And I want to prove that to you."

"Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that I got a job. I work in a bar near my building. It's nothing fancy and the salary isn't huge, but it's a real job," he shrugged. "Believe it or not, you're the one who inspired me to move from that dead spot and finally do something with my life. I'm really grateful for that."

He finished his speech with a tired exhale and leaned back in his seat, waiting for her reaction.

Clarke seemed moved by his words, the expression on her face softening as she watched him.

She stared at the coffee cup in her hands, still not taking a single sip from it. "What about Pike?" She asked quietly. "Did you manage to get rid of him?"

Bellamy shook his head, pain flashing across his face.

"I'll never get rid of him, Clarke. You heard what he said. If I try to cross him again, I'm a dead man," he ran his hand through his hair.

"But I don't want to do his dirty job anymore. I've never wanted to do it, actually. You have no idea how terrible I felt, selling drugs in nightclubs to kids who were barely old enough to get inside. I basically took part in ruining their lives. I wish I could take it all back. But I can't," he suddenly felt incredibly ashamed, avoiding eye contact with Clarke.

"I flushed the last delivery down the toilet and when Pike comes asking for money, I'll just give him half of my salary," he said, looking defeated.

"Have you thought about going to the police? I mean, it's not like you can give him half of the money you earned with your hard work for the rest of your life," she put her elbows on the table and leaned forward, looking like she turned on her thinking mode.

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea," Bellamy snorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "And what am I supposed to say to the police? 'Hi, I used to be a drug dealer, but I'm not anymore and I need you to arrest the guy I worked for with absolutely no evidence because he is harassing me.' That will work!" He rubbed his hands over his face as a sign of irritation.

"Okay, that was a stupid idea," Clarke confirmed, letting out a sigh. "Don't worry, we'll figure something out. We have to."

"We?" Bellamy raised his eyebrows and sent an amused look her way.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I mean, you came to me this time which must mean you want my help."

"And you're willing to give it to me? It's not like you owe me anything. Actually, I'm the one who owes you. A lot. Besides, you barely know me and I know almost nothing about you," he said. It's not like he didn't need Clarke or her help in his life, but he couldn't understand what drove her to offer him her assistance.

"Maybe you would've known something about me if you bothered to find out!" She smirked, challenging him. The tension between them was starting to wear off and Clarke now felt a lot more at peace in his presence.

"Okay then," Bellamy crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. "Tell me something about yourself."

"I grew up in Washington DC with my father as an engineer and my mother as the chief of surgery in MedStar."

Bellamy's whoop cut her off. "Ooh, we've got a princess over here."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "You got angry when I made assumptions about you and I admitted it was the wrong thing to do. So could you please be a doll and not make assumptions about me?"

He put his hands up as a sign of surrender. "Fine, I'm sorry. Go on, Princess," he let a smug grin spread across his face, earning himself a nasty glare from Clarke.

"I'm not going to bother you with details of my childhood because it wasn't that interesting. My parents weren't at home very often and I spent a lot of time with my nanny who practically raised me. Well, I have to give some credit to my dad too, he was the one who always supported me and went to incredible lengths to make my childhood happy and carefree."

Thinking of her dad brought a smile to her lips, but her facial expression changed in a few seconds. "But my mom…" she shook her head and let out a shaky laugh.

"We fought all the time. As I said, she was almost never home. And when she was, all we did was yell at each other. I know she loves me and she wanted the best for me, but I don't think she really knew what was best for me. Like when I told her I wanted to take art classes in freshmen year in high school, she just laughed at my face."

Clarke paused for a moment to take a sip of water. She didn't seem pleased with the taste of it - she probably wished it was something stronger.

"So I followed her footsteps and went to med school. I can't say I don't like being a doctor. I love my job, but I wish I had some kind of choice when it came to choosing what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, you know?" She looked at him wistfully.

Bellamy nodded, suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that he felt incredibly connected to her in that moment. He felt drawn to her the very first time he saw her. He noticed immediately that, even though she seemed reserved, she had a fire inside of her that burned brightly. And looking at her now, getting to see a vulnerable side of her, he was even more intrigued.

"I'm glad I went to med school for one more reason. That's where I started dating Wells," she smiled weakly. Her grip on the glass in her hand was so tight that Bellamy thought she might smash it into pieces.

"I guess it was just a matter of time. We've been friends our entire lives since my mom and his dad worked together, but we've never been more than that until college. I've never been as happy as I was for those three years with him."

Bellamy saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes, but they were gone as quickly as they appeared. She cleared her throat and set her glass down.

"And then he died in a car accident."

Clarke said those words mechanically, trying to keep every emotion out of her voice. Because if she had let herself get emotional, she would probably have had a mental breakdown.

She raised her head to face Bellamy and was completely blown away when she saw the look in his eyes. It wasn't pity or false compassion that most of the people expressed when they heard her story – it was recognition. He looked like he truly understood her pain and learnt the hard way how easy it is to lose someone, just like her.

"Anyway, I couldn't stand being in Washington anymore, living among people and things that reminded me of him. So when I got an offer to finish my residency here in Phoenix, I accepted it immediately. And like things weren't bad enough, my parents got divorced and my mom is now dating Wells' dad, Thelonious Jaha. I think it's kind of disgusting so I avoid seeing them as much as I can."

Clarke finished her story with a sigh, leaning back in her seat. She felt tired to her bones. It's been a long time since she had to tell someone her whole life story.

Bellamy was silent for a moment, trying to process everything he had just heard.

"What about your dad? Don't you miss him?" He finally spoke, catching Clarke off guard. She expected him to give her his condolences or something like that.

"Yeah, I miss him a lot," a sad smile appeared on Clarke's lips. "But we talk almost every day and he's super invested in my life and supports basically every decision I make. It's very comforting, knowing I have someone like that in my life. Of course, there's also Raven, my best friend. But family is family, you know? And I guess I could say my dad is the only family I have left."

Pain flashed in Bellamy's eyes and Clarke immediately regretted mentioning family.

"What about you? You mentioned having a sister," she knew she was going into a dangerous territory, but she couldn't help but ask. And she figured it was okay to ask since they've agreed to get to know each other better.

"Yeah, I do. And she's the only family I have left, too. My dad wasn't a part of my life and my mom died eleven years ago. But Octavia doesn't talk to me anymore so I can't actually say that I have family anymore."

"Why?" She whispered, not really expecting an answer since he'd already revealed more than she thought he would ever reveal to her.

"When our mom died, Octavia was 13 years old. And all of a sudden, it was just the two of us and I wasn't just her brother. I had to become her parent, guardian, the person who would take care of her until she was capable of doing that on her own. Aside from going to police academy, I worked during nights and weekends to make sure she has everything she needs."

In that moment, Clarke started seeing Bellamy in a whole different light. He wasn't this broken shell of a human being anymore. Suddenly, he became so much more.

And what fascinated her the most was the fact that he didn't speak like a person who was deprived of his youth. He spoke like taking full responsibility for his sister at the age of 18 was the most normal thing to do.

"So when she told me she's dating a guy 10 years older than her, I completely lost my mind. She was barely old enough to drink when they started dating and he was already in his thirties and I just couldn't handle it."

"No matter how much she kept assuring me he was a decent guy who loves her very much, I pushed and pushed and kept saying he was going to break her heart. We got into a huge fight and she chose to live with this Lincoln guy instead of her brother. I realized too late that Octavia is a grown woman who was free to make her own choices. I tried to apologize later, tell her I made a mistake, but she wouldn't hear it. I guess I hurt her too damn much."

"Wow," was all Clarke managed say.

"Yeah, that's my story. I'm a jerk. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

The blonde shook her head. "So that's why you started living the way you do now?"

"Not exactly," Bellamy laughed bitterly. "Have you heard about that explosion in the Ark Labs a little over a year ago?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah, of course," Clarke said seriously. "Three people died and ten people were injured. I've treated some of them, actually."

"Yeah, well, one of those three unfortunate people was my fiancée Gina."

Clarke's eyes went wide. So she wasn't imagining the sad look in his eyes when she talked about Wells. He really did know how it was to lose the person who meant everything to you.

"Oh my god, Bellamy, I had no idea. I'm… I'm so sorry," she put her hand over her mouth, still in shock.

He just nodded and stared at the table in front of him.

After spending what seemed like forever in silence, both of them completely stunned, Bellamy let out a laugh, throwing Clarke off guard.

"Our lives really suck, don't they?" He stated.

"That's an understatement," Clarke chuckled. "I've got my mom trying to control my life, you've got Pike which is obviously a lot worse…" she stopped and stared at him like something important occurred to her.

Bellamy gave her a puzzled look. "What?"

She put her hand out, silently telling him to wait while she processed stuff in her head.

"I think I might have a solution to your problem," she said slowly. "Why don't you come to the Dropship this Saturday?"

* * *

Clarke was standing in front of the Dropship, freezing her ass off. The summer was near its end and the nights were beginning to get really chilly. And all Clarke was wearing was a thin sleeveless, knee-length beige dress.

She wouldn't have been freezing if her friend actually showed up on time for once. She was waiting for Raven for 15 minutes now while listening to Harper and Monroe's band already playing inside the bar.

She felt relief when she heard voices coming from behind the corner.

"I can't believe you made me go to this stupid thing. If all the music's going to be like the one playing right now, I'm going to cut my ears off," a grumpy male voice complained.

There was a thump and Clarke could only just assume that the grumpy guy took a hit from the girl he was talking to.

"Come on, you promised you'd behave," Raven said, pretending to be annoyed, but failing. "You know how much it means to me for you to meet my friends."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm doing this for you only," the guy said, much gentler this time.

In that same moment, Clarke spotted them walking in her direction, the guy's arm wrapped around Raven's shoulders.

Wide grin spread across the brunette's face when she saw her best friend.

"Clarke! Hey!" She threw herself at the blonde, pulling her in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry we're late… Oh my god, you're shivering! Are you cold?"

"No, I'm just really happy to see you," Clarke responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Raven ignored her and looked around. "Where are the other guys?"

"Inside. I'm the one who got stuck waiting for you."

She paused to take a closer look at Raven's date. He was tall, blue-eyed and had brown hair which he let grow slightly so that it was now falling on his forehead. He was quite handsome, despite the grumpy 'I don't want to be here' look on his face.

Raven nudged him in the ribs with her elbow and he instantly put his hand out to Clarke.

"I'm Murphy," he introduced himself, his lips curling into what could've been a forced smile.

"I'm Clarke," she said, eyeing him subtly from head to toe.

She waited for him to say something else, like 'Nice to meet you' or something, but he just glanced around, not really paying attention to the blonde.

Raven cleared her throat and clapped her hands. "Okay! Let's go inside," she tried not to sound awkward.

She threw her arms around both of them, Clarke on her left side and Murphy on her right.

Just before they entered the bar, she leaned closer to Clarke's ear and whispered. "Give him a shot."

* * *

 **What did you think about Bellamy and Clarke's stories?**

 **And did you expect Murphy and Clarke to meet like this or did you expect something entirely different?**

 **I don't know how long it will take me to upload next chapter, but I'll make sure to buy a new laptop as soon as possible and get you the next chapter out fast!**

 **Check out my Tumblr: blakeesgriffin**


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys! I'm finally back!_  
 _I won't bother you with a lot of excuses. Basically college started last October and I've been so busy since then that I barely had time to breathe, let alone write._  
 _You have no idea how happy I am to get this chapter out. I know that most of you have probably given up on me and this story, but hopefully some of you are still interested :)_  
 _I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Clarke was sitting in a booth among her already tipsy friends, sipping her drink way too slowly. She would usually join her crew in drinking and goofing around, but this time she wasn't really in the mood. She was uncomfortable in the seat which should've been cozy, glancing nervously around the club and hoping to spot a certain dark head in the crowd.

He was late. Very late. He was, in fact, so late that Clarke started losing hope, facing the truth – he wasn't coming. Harper and Monroe's band finished playing almost an hour ago and Bellamy was still nowhere to be seen.

'You're so pathetic,' Clarke thought to herself and decided to shift her attention elsewhere. She turned to her friends, focusing on one of their usual debates in which she didn't actually want to take part.

They were in the middle of fighting over which new movie was better – Star Wars or Star Trek. The Force Awakens was, of course, winning, but Jasper firmly stood by his belief that Star Trek was way better.

Raven obviously noticed her friend's odd behavior since she turned to her with a questioning look on her face.

"What's going on, girl? Is something wrong?" She whispered in Clarke's ear.

"No, everything's fine. I'm just a little tired, that's all," the blonde came up with a lame excuse despite knowing Raven wouldn't buy it.

"Is it Murphy? Do you really dislike him so much?" Raven kept pushing. She waited anxiously for Clarke's answer.

Clarke felt immediately sorry for her friend. She knew how much Murphy meant to Raven and how much she wanted for her friends to like him.

"No, no! I swear, it's not that!" She hurried to reassure the brunette, not wanting to see the pained expression on her face.

And she wasn't lying. At first Clarke wasn't very fond of Murphy. He seemed uninterested in everything and she didn't think they would get along. But as the time passed, he visibly relaxed and started making small talk with people. He still seemed kind of bored and made snarky comments here and there, but Clarke figured that was just a part of his personality.

"I think Murphy's going to fit in our little group just fine," she smiled at Raven. She hoped to change the subject and possibly make her friend forget about her antsy behavior.

"You two seem really happy together. And if you're happy then so am I," she put an arm around her friend. Raven's face lit up and her eyes immediately went to Murphy.

"Thanks. It means a lot. I was really nervous about this. I mean, what would've happened if you guys totally hated him? I would have to dump him. And that's the last thing I want to do," Raven stated, taking a sip of her beer.

Clarke chuckled. She found Raven's words funny, but she also appreciated the fact that the other girl cared so much about her friends that she would leave the guy she liked so much for them.

"Don't worry, Rae. You don't have to dump…" Clarke stopped talking when a tall figure appeared at her side, staring down at her intently.

She raised her head and felt a rush of both relief and panic. She stared at him in awe, trying to pronounce actual words.

"Hi," was all that she managed to come up with.

"Hi," Bellamy grinned down at her. "Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at work."

His eyes were still plastered on her and she felt like she could melt away under his intense gaze. He was wearing dark jeans and casual white button-up shirt. Clarke had never seen him looking like that before and she definitely liked what she had seen.

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity until Clarke finally noticed a guy standing awkwardly next to Bellamy.

"Oh, right, this is Nathan Miller. We work together so I invited him. I hope that's okay," he introduced his co-worker.

Miller looked relieved that Bellamy finally remembered he existed.

"Of course it's okay," Clarke smiled at both guys. "I'm Clarke," she said to Miller only to notice that the eyes of her entire gang were on them.

"These are my friends," she cleared her throat. "Raven, Murphy, Harper, Monroe, Jasper and Monty," she introduced them in the sitting order. "Guys, this is my friend Bellamy," she could feel Raven's burning glare on the back of her neck as she looked at Bellamy who sat next to her.

Clarke felt Raven's elbow collide with her ribs, but chose to ignore it. She's going to explain this whole messed up situation with Bellamy later.

"So, Princess… Why did you want me to come here? Are you longing for my company so much or do you really have a solution for me?" Bellamy asked.

"Can you just chill for a moment? Geez, you just got here," Clarke rolled her eyes. "What I have planned requires engaging in activities for a longer period of time."

"Oooh, so you ARE longing for my company."

"Oh shut up," Clarke rolled her eyes, "and focus on getting to know my friends. Especially Murphy," she pointed subtly to a young man sitting next to Raven.

"And make sure to show yourself in the best light. Which means – don't be yourself," she smirked at him, earning herself an annoyed glare.

"Fine, fine," he raised his hands up. "I trust your judgement. Which may prove to be a mistake, but whatever."

As soon as Bellamy got up to get a drink, Raven went all interrogating mode on Clarke.

"Who the hell is that hottie? And why don't I know that he exists and you know him?" She hissed, making her blonde friend both amused and scared when she saw the crazy look in her eyes.

"Bellamy is my friend," Clarke simply responded, knowing Raven won't give up.

"Yeah, no. It doesn't seem like you're just friends. How long has that been going on?"

"We are just friends, but you clearly refuse to believe that because you're desperate to find me a boyfriend," Clarke glared at the brunette. "I met Bellamy about a month ago and we've been friends since then."

She came up with a reply that would somewhat satisfy Raven, not wanting to reveal the whole truth about Bellamy just yet.

Before Raven had the chance to pry some more, Bellamy arrived with two drinks in his hands. He handed the pink cocktail to Clarke.

"Wow, what a gentleman!" She teased. "What's that? It smells good."

He shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. "Some girly shit. It's called Princess," he winked at her.

Clarke rolled her eyes, but tried the drink anyway. It tasted really nice, even though she wouldn't say that to him.

"I have to admit, I'm kind of glad you're here," Clarke said quietly, but loud enough for Bellamy to hear and smirk proudly. "I mean, all of my friends are already drunk and I can't have a normal conversation with them at this point."

"Are you admitting that you can have a normal conversation with me?" He lifted his eyebrows, still in the full teasing mode.

"Stop fishing for compliments!"

Clarke took another sip of her drink and then another and soon enough her glass was empty. She somehow relaxed since Bellamy arrived.

Suddenly, he got up and grabbed Clarke's hand, catching her completely off guard.

As he pulled her up, she stumbled a bit, having to lean on to him for support. She backed away from him quickly before he could make another annoying comment.

"Let's go dancing," he said, surprising her even more.

"Are you sure you want to leave your friend all by himself?" A frown appeared on Clarke's face as she thought of Miller.

Bellamy smirked and pointed his finger behind her. "I think he's going to be just fine."

Clarke turned around to find Miller chatting with Monty, all of his attention focused on her goofy friend. A smile appeared on her face and before she had even had the time to turn back to Bellamy, he grabbed her hand and dragged her to the dancefloor.

"I'll get you another drink!" She heard Bellamy say before he disappeared.

Loud music was playing from the speakers and there was crowd all around her. It wasn't usually Clarke's thing, but this time she found her hips swaying to the sound of music.

Maybe it was from that pink drink, maybe it was something else.

She closed her eyes and danced until she felt a hand grabbing her waist and turning her around. She found herself pressed against Bellamy's chest yet again, but this time she didn't back away. She raised her head and stared at the dark eyes looking down on her.

He handed her a glass, not letting go of her waist.

"I suggest you start drinking before you spill it all over my shirt," he leaned forward and said in her ear, his hot breath making her skin tingle.

Clarke downed the drink in a few sips and discarded the glass on a nearby table.

In a few heartbeats, Bellamy's hand were around her waist and hers were around his neck as they started moving together.

"I didn't know you could dance," she noticed.

"I don't think it takes a lot of skill for this kind of dancing," he chuckled. "Someday I'll take you dancing for real."

Clarke's lips quirked up in a smile as she stared at him in surprise.

"Oh, don't look at me like that! That's the least I can do after everything you've done for me," Bellamy said.

"It's so unusual to hear those words coming out of your mouth. I can't believe you're the same person I met a month ago."

"Do you want me to start being a jerk to you again?" He teased.

"No," Clarke shook her head. "I like this Bellamy waaay better," she laughed.

"I really like your dress. And your hair. It's nice to see you out of your usual professional outfits," he said into her ear and spun her around, making her yelp in surprise.

"Thank you," she smiled, lowering her head so he doesn't notice the blush creeping up her cheeks. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"Okay, I think we should stop with the compliments," Bellamy chuckled. "It's getting weird."

"I know!" Clarke exclaimed. "I'm not used to being nice while talking to you."

He just laughed in response, throwing his head back a bit. As he did that, Clarke's fingers went from the back of his neck to his hair. He didn't seem to mind so she ran her fingers through the soft curls a few more times. It felt really good.

It was refreshing, seeing him like that – relaxed, out of his usual moody and broody behavior.

They danced until Bellamy's shirt was sticking to his skin from all the sweat and Clarke felt dizzy, partly from the stuffy air and partly from the drinks. She announced she'd like to get some air and Bellamy offered to accompany her.

When they stopped by their table to pick up their stuff, they noticed that the only ones left were Jasper, Harper and Monroe. The fact that Monty and Miller were both gone didn't surprise Clarke much, but she saw that an amused smirk appeared on Bellamy's face as he realized it.

As she stepped outside of the bar, Clarke was grateful for the rush of fresh air because it cleared her head a little bit.

Bellamy followed her, checking his watch. "Can you believe it's already 3 am? Have we really been on the dancefloor for such a long time?"

"Yeah, I guess we have," Clarke chuckled. "I suppose time flies when you're having fun," she said slowly, having a surprisingly hard time to find words.

"Wow, you're drunker than I thought," Bellamy stated with an amused tone to his voice.

"What the hell are you doing?" The tone of his voice completely changed when he saw her pulling the car keys out of her purse.

"I should head home."

He immediately snatched the keys out of her hand, raising his voice. "Are you fucking insane? You are not driving in this state! You're a doctor, you should know how bad things can get when people drive drunk!"

His eyes burned with anger as he stared at her, waiting to come to her senses.

She watched him wide-eyed, not knowing what to say after he yelled at her like she was a five year old child.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, but I can't let you risk your life. Where's your car? I'll drive you home, I've only had one beer and that was hours ago," he grabbed her hand and started dragging her to the parking lot.

"Bellamy, I…" she finally found her voice, completely blown away by what just happened.

He stopped walking and turned around to look at her.

Clarke found herself distracted by the curve of his mouth, the tiny freckles on his face and his big gorgeous eyes staring down at her. It took her a while to realize that she hasn't said anything and he was still waiting for her response with his arms across his chest and a frown between his eyebrows.

"Thank you," she said softly and kissed him on the cheek, catching him off guard.

Suddenly there was a sound of the car unlocking and Clarke realized he pressed the button on her car key.

"There it is," he smiled at her and took her hand in his again, leading her to where her car was parked.

Clarke gave Bellamy directions to her apartment and dozed off as soon as she sat down on the car seat. When she opened her eyes, they were in front of her building and Bellamy was opening the passenger door for her.

When she stepped out of the car, she realized Bellamy had his phone on his ear.

"Who are you calling?" she muttered, still half-conscious from sleep.

"A taxi. I have to get home somehow, Princess," he smirked.

"No," she said firmly, slamming the door behind her.

Bellamy snorted, putting the phone back in his pocket. "Excuse me?"

"I won't let you go home alone at this time of night," Clarke stood across from him, determined. It was a bit hard keeping her balance while slightly intoxicated, but she wanted to prove a point.

Bellamy laughed even harder at this. "Alone? What am I, a drunk sixteen year-old girl? Are you afraid there are dangerous men lurking behind the bushes waiting to take my virtue?" There was amusement in his voice and Clarke was trying hard not to laugh.

She had to admit, her argument did sound ridiculous as she watched him cross his bulky arms across his chest.

"What I meant was," she cleared her throat, "you don't need to go home at this hour when I have a spare bedroom where you can get some rest and head home in the morning."

Tipsy Clarke thought that inviting Bellamy to stay the night made complete sense. Sober Clarke wouldn't agree. But she wasn't there at the moment, right?

This time Bellamy seemed to be the one in loss of words. He stared at her, the amusement on his face now replaced by total surprise.

"Come on, Bellamy. I'm not going to bite," she nudged at his forearm and headed for the entrance of the building, checking if he was following. He was.

It wasn't until they got into the elevator that he finally found his voice.

"I can't believe how easily you got me to come up with you," he rubbed his face. "If I wasn't so damn tired I would've already been in a cab…"

"Oh come on, don't make such a big deal out of this," Clarke cut him off, waving her hand. She leaned her head on his shoulder to keep her balance, closing her eyes.

He swallowed as she did that, regretting his decision to accept her offer.

"The reason I'm making it a big deal is because you're drunk and therefore not fully responsible for your actions. Which means that in the morning you might regret inviting a stranger to your apartment," he kept ranting, not realizing that the blonde was barely listening to him.

Clarke raised her head suddenly, locking her blue eyes with his.

"You're not a stranger," she whispered, her look falling to Bellamy's lips.

Bellamy was grateful for the elevator door opening because if they stayed there for a second longer, he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to control himself.

After struggling with a lock for a while, Clarke finally managed to let them in the apartment.

Bellamy couldn't see much of it since the only light was coming from Clarke's phone, but he could see that it was enormous. At least for his standards.

They were apparently in the living room since he could see the outlines of a couch and two armchairs. Clarke discarded her jacket carelessly on one of them and headed forward to a small hallway.

There were three doors. One ahead of them, which must've been Clarke's room, and one on each side.

She opened the door on the right and finally turned the light on.

It was a small room, but it seemed spacious because of the lack of furniture. There was a simple bed and a large wardrobe against one wall and a pile of something covered with a white sheet against the opposite wall.

"There," Clarke smiled. "There's spare blankets in the closet if you get cold."

"What's that?" Bellamy couldn't help but ask, pointing at the covered pile of unknown objects.

"Oh, those are my art supplies," Clarke said melancholically.

"You paint?" His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Yeah, sometimes. Not as much as I used to, though," she frowned. "I wish I had more time, but being a doctor sort of takes its toll."

"There's so much I don't know about you, isn't there?" He smirked at her.

She looked up, the corners of her mouth quirking up in a devilish smile. "You have no idea."

"Goodnight, Princess," Bellamy said, brushing a stray strand of hair from her forehead.

"Goodnight," the glint of her bright blue eyes was the last thing he saw before she closed the door.

Bellamy took of his shoes and jacket and dropped on the bed, his body heavy with exhaustion. He somehow fought the burning urge to lift the cover from Clarke's art supplies and see her work.

He fell asleep with the image of her in his head, sitting next to him, a blank canvas in front of her, a brush in her hand and a smile on her lips.

* * *

 **To be honest, I originally wanted to make this fic more angsty, but I couldn't resist and I had to make this chapter fluffy af.**  
 **Let me know your thoughts! What did you think about interactions between Bellamy and Clarke in this chapter?**  
 **Also, The 100 is back tonight!**  
 **If you wanna freak out with me and share your excitement or non-excitement, find me on Tumblr. My url is blakeesgriffin and I'll be happy to talk to you guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

_Two updates in two weeks? Whaaat?  
I wrote this chapter in a single afternoon which is so unlike me, but I felt very inspired. Hopefully you guys like it!  
Also, I want to thank you for the good responses I got for the last chapter. I'm glad you guys are still interested in the fic even though I suck at updating it! I promise I'll try to be more consistent._

* * *

When Clarke woke up, the sun was already high up, filling her room with light and letting her know it was most definitely no longer morning.

The intense sunlight wasn't exactly soothing for the unpleasant throbbing sensation in her head. She immediately regretted not having drawn the curtains over her windows before going to bed.

She was about to bury her head in her pillows again and go back to the land of dreams when she heard strange noise coming from outside of her bedroom.

She reluctantly got out of the bed, grabbing the first thing she saw – a book from her nightstand – to use for… what? Self-defense? She pushed the door of her room open only to be overwhelmed by the glorious smell coming from the kitchen. She dropped the book and headed down the hallway, her bare foot tapping against the cold floor.

Bellamy was standing behind the kitchen counter, smirking at her.

"Oh look, the Sleeping Beauty is awake. It was about time," he said, amusement coating his voice.

And that's when the events of the previous night came rushing back to Clarke. She remembered downing those pink drinks and Bellamy's body pressed to hers and her asking him to stay the night…

Blush crept up her cheeks as she felt embarrassment for being so reckless and inappropriate.

When she realized she's been standing frozen for some time as he expected for her to say something, she finally walked to him and sat on one of the high chairs behind the counter.

He grabbed a few eggs, cracked them open into a bowl and started whisking. She also noticed a stack of pancakes on his left side. He was cooking her a freaking breakfast.

She felt even more embarrassed when she noticed that she was wearing only an oversized shirt in which she slept and which barely covered her ass, leaving her legs bare.

Bellamy studied her the whole time, the smirk not leaving his face. "How are we feeling?"

"Ugh. Terrible," she finally managed to open her mouth, rubbing her hand across her face. Her voice came out hoarse, another one of the aftermaths of those cute little pink drinks.

He chuckled, turning his back on her to pour the eggs into the hot pan. "If I knew you were such a lightweight, I would've never let you drink."

She watched him stir the eggs, the muscles on his back very visible through his thin shirt as he moved his arms. She closed her mouth before he could see her gaping at him, shaking the dirty thoughts away.

"Are you making breakfast?" Clarke raised her eyebrows and asked a stupid question only to fill the silence.

"Obviously," he glanced at her over his shoulder. "I have to pay you back somehow for letting me crash here last night."

"Letting you crash here last night was me paying you back for taking care of my drunk ass," she murmured.

"Any time, Princess," he smirked as he provided her with a cup of coffee, her eyes going instantly wide at the glorious smell of it.

Clarke sipped her coffee greedily as he was finishing up. When he placed a plate full of eggs, bacon and pancakes in front of her, her mouth watered. She didn't even realize she was hungry.

Bellamy filled his own plate with food and took a seat next to her, waiting for her to take the first bite before he began eating himself.

The blonde picked up the fork, hoping her stomach won't protest. As soon as the food entered her mouth, she let out a slight moan.

"Oh my god. Bellamy! This is delicious," she exclaimed, earning herself a wide grin from him. "How the hell did you learn to cook like this?"

"I had to make a lot of meals for my sister," he shrugged, chewing on his food. "And I figured I might as well try to make it tasty."

Clarke expected for his mood to change at the mention of his sister, but he remained cheerful, sending an adorable smile her way.

She ate in silence, trying to figure out an exact reason and a moment when she started feeling such fondness for him, when hanging out with him and being around him stopped being weird and just started to be familiar, pleasant…

She turned her head to look at him when she noticed he was staring at her. "What?" she asked with a mouth full of food.

"I was just wondering… Why didn't you get a smaller apartment for yourself? Why take this enormous one with a spare room? It's not like you need it."

His question wasn't meant to be judgmental or accusing. It was clear in the tone of his voice that he was just being curious.

Clarke shrugged, reaching for her coffee. "When I first moved here, all I wanted to do in my free time was paint. I fell in love with this apartment the moment I saw it and when I saw the spare room, all I could think about was how I would turn it into my own little atelier. I never had a lot of free time, but when I did…" she stopped talking for a moment, a smile appearing on her face.

"I would just sit and paint in that room until I had to go to work again."

Bellamy watched her with a dreamy look in his eyes, matching her own expression. "Why'd you stop? I know that being too busy is just an excuse. There's another reason."

She stared at him. How the hell did he know? She opened her mouth to try to come up with a satisfying answer when his phone buzzed.

He looked at it and stood up instantly. "Shit! I had no idea it was so late. I have to get to work," he grabbed his jacket from the nearby chair. "You'll tell me another time, okay?" He stopped in his hurry to give her a gentle look.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Clarke asked, lowkey trying to find an excuse to spend some more time with him.

"No, it's okay. I'm going to call a cab. You should get some more rest. That hangover isn't going to go away just like that," he winked at her, causing a stirring inside of her.

She nodded and before she knew it, he was pressing a quick kiss on her cheek and saying goodbye. When she somehow recovered from the shock, he was already out of the door.

And it wasn't until he was out that he realized that kissing each other on the cheek as a way of saying goodbye wasn't something they did at all. And the worst part was that he didn't even think when he did it. It just felt natural and normal.

"Idiot," he mumbled to himself before getting in the elevator, away from the feeling of embarrassment for what he just did.

Clarke stared at the closed door for a long moment after he left, completely dumbfounded. She shouldn't have been so surprised by the gesture – it was just an innocent peck. But it felt oddly intimate.

She then thought about what she was going to say to him before he left.

The truth was, she stopped painting because she stopped feeling. She painted when Wells died and she was heartbroken and sad and grieving.

She painted when she moved to Phoenix after she had a horrible fight with her mother. Then she was angry and frustrated and lonely. It felt terrible, but at least they were emotions and she could paint them, paint what she felt.

But at some point, she started feeling numb to everything around her. There was a hole in her chest for a long time and whenever she wanted to paint, her hand just wouldn't listen to her.

And when Bellamy left, she swore her hand itched. It was like it wanted her to pick up the brush and start painting again. And perhaps she wasn't able to admit it to herself yet, but she was ready to start feeling again. That tiny flame deep inside of her which she thought was long gone began flickering again.

She found herself moving toward her old "atelier" and pulling the covers off her art supplies. They were dusty since she hadn't used them in a long time, but still very much usable.

She painted until the sunset and when the moon came out, she painted some more.

It was almost dawn when her eyes started to close, her body heavy with exhaustion. Even though she was tired to her bones, she couldn't remember the last time she felt so happy and free.

She didn't bother to walk to her room. Instead she plopped down on the bed in which Bellamy slept just the night before.

The bed smelled like him and Clarke nuzzled her head in the pillow, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep with a smile on her face.

A loud bang woke her from the pleasant dreams. It took her a while to come to her senses and realize that someone was at her door. Someone who was, apparently, very eager to see her since they knocked like they were going to smash the door.

She rubbed her face, her eyes still weary from sleep, and made her way toward the front door. She opened it to find her best friend standing in front of her, her face red with anger.

"Where the hell have you been? I thought you fucking died. I already started picturing you in some ditch. Do you not own the phone anymore? I called you like a thousand times," Raven stormed in the apartment, her voice so loud that the neighbors probably heard her.

"Please lower your voice," Clarke groaned. "I just woke up."

"You just woke up? It's three in the afternoon!" Raven did not lower her voice. "Shouldn't you be at work or something?"

An alarmed look appeared on the blonde's face. "Wait, what day is it?"

Raven looked at her like she'd gone completely mad. She let out an exasperated breath and threw her arms in the air, her ponytail bouncing from the movement.

"It's fucking Monday, Clarke."

Relief flooded her as she made her way toward the kitchen. When was the last time she ate? Probably yesterday when Bellamy made breakfast. The dirty plates and coffee mugs from their meal were still on the counter. Clarke picked them up and placed them in the sink.

"It's fine, I don't have to be at work until tomorrow morning," she shrugged.

"Would you like something to eat? Or drink?" She asked the brunette, rummaging through the fridge, searching for food.

"No, I don't. What the hell is wrong with you?" Raven was still talking to her like she was insane. She leaned against the counter, trying to figure out what has gotten into her.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Raven," Clarke grinned at her friend, making herself a sandwich. When she was done, she took a large bite out of it. She'd been so occupied by painting that she forgot to eat.

Raven tilted her head, studying her friend as she was some sort of a strange, unknown specimen. "Oh my god. Have you been painting?"

Clarke followed Raven's look to the front of her shirt. The fleck of blue stood out against the bright yellow fabric.

The brunette's mouth went wide. "You HAVE been painting!"

The other girl stopped chewing to give her a smile.

"It's because of that hot dude from the other night, isn't it? Have you two…"?

"First of all," Clarke cut her off immediately. "His name is Bellamy. And I already told you that we're just friends."

"Yeah, right," Raven snorted. "A little birdy told me you two left the Dropship together," she wiggled her eyebrows, a naughty smile playing on her lips.

"Ugh, Jasper just can't keep his mouth shut," the blonde rolled her eyes. "Nothing happened, Rae. How many times do I have to tell you he's just my friend?"

"Say it a few more times and I might actually believe it," Raven walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water from it.

"So are you back to painting for real or…?"

"I don't know," Clarke shrugged. "All I know is that I wanted to paint yesterday and I really enjoyed it and I might do it again soon," she smiled.

"Can I see the new stuff?" Raven asked, taking a sip from the bottle.

Clarke's answer was quick. "No," she shook her head violently. "No way. I'm rusty and the new stuff are definitely not masterpieces. I just painted from the heart."

Raven placed her hands on her chest and stared at Clarke dramatically. "I'm so proud of you."

Her friend rolled her eyes, finishing her sandwich. "Go watch TV or something. I have to take a shower," she announced.

Raven leaned forward and sniffed. "Yeah, you do."

Clarke made her way to the bathroom, hitting her best friend's shoulder as she passed next to her.

* * *

A few days later, Clarke walked into a bar, her eyes searching for Bellamy. She spotted his dark head behind the bar, washing dirty glasses.

She was relieved to see that she arrived in the middle of his shift. The bar wasn't exactly close to her apartment and it would be a shame if she drove all this way for nothing.

Of course it crossed her mind to send him a text. But at least this way she had an excuse to see him.

It was a slow night and there couldn't have been more than five or six people inside. All the bar stools behind Bellamy were empty so she chose one and took a seat, waiting for him to turn around.

After some time, he was still focused on doing the dishes so Clarke cleared her throat.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what can I get…" he started, but cut himself off when he saw her. A wide grin spread across his face.

"Hello, Princess. Missed me much?" He crossed his arms on his chest, his muscles tense in the short-sleeved shirt.

She gulped, not wanting to let him get to her. "You wish."

"One orange juice, please," she said before he got a chance to say something snarky.

"No alcohol for you today?"

Clarke scowled, watching him reach for a glass. "I have a night shift to go to in an hour."

He handed her the juice, not taking the smug smirk off his face. "Here you go, miss. On the house."

"Gee, thanks," she said, but there was no malice in her words. "I actually came here for a reason, you know. Not because of how much I enjoy your company."

"Oh really?"

He was leaning forward with his elbows on the bar, almost touching Clarke's arms. He was so close. Too close. She took a sip of her juice, trying not to stare at him.

"We're all hanging out at Raven's tomorrow so I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come. She said we're going to be playing some board games, but I know it's just an excuse to get a lot of booze and get wasted."

She was expecting another snarky comment from him, but instead he asked her a question. "Why are you insisting on me hanging out with your friends so much?"

"First of all, this is only the second time I'm inviting you to hang out with my friends. And second of all, I want you to get along with Murphy."

He stared at her, waiting for an explanation.

"I don't know if you're aware, but he's a cop," she lowered her voice. She was going to tell him her plan and he better accept it.

Bellamy made sure no one was listening to them before reacting. "Are you kidding me? What made you think it was a good idea to introduce me, a former drug dealer, to a cop?" He was trying to whisper, but he couldn't hide the anger in his voice. "Do you want him to figure me out and get me locked up?"

"No, I want the exact opposite," she lightly touched his elbow to calm him down. "I think he might be able to help you get out of this mess you're in. We just need to hang out with him enough to see if we can trust him."

He stared at her suspiciously and let out a sigh. "Clarke Griffin, you are nothing but a trouble," he was still tense, but a smirk appeared on his face. "Let's hear what you have in mind."

"It's not a secret that the police have been trying to catch Pike for months."

"I've done my research," she added when he gave her a weird look. "Anyway, I want you to keep an eye on him for the next few weeks. Try to find out where he keeps his stash, who he works with, where they meet… I know it's not going to be easy, but if you do it right, you could be free of him. And when we -you- gather enough evidence, we're going to tell Murphy and hopefully help the police catch him."

Bellamy stared at her for a long moment before letting out a breath in defeat. "I may be an idiot for thinking that was even possible, but tell me more."

* * *

 **Comments are very welcome :) Let me know what you think about Clarke's plan and Bellarke bonding in the beginning of this chapter! Which character do you want to see more of?**  
 **Find me on Tumblr: blakeesgriffin**


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter!_  
 _Thanks for the responses I've been getting from you lovelies!_  
 _I hope you'll like this chapter. It's mostly fluff as well as the two previous ones, but it's not gonna be all fluff for much longer... (just to warn you lol)_  
 _Reviews are very welcome as usual!_

* * *

„Don't tell me you're nervous," Clarke snorted as they waited for the elevator to reach the fifth floor. Bellamy's been fidgeting and sweating ever since they met at the parking lot of Raven's building. Clarke warned him to leave his car at home and take a cab instead because at the end of the night, he won't be able to drive for sure.

She snatched the bottle of vodka from his hands, afraid that he might drop it.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, fixing the collar of his shirt. "It's been a long time since I had to make a good impression on someone," he said flatly and glared at her. "And you've put a lot of pressure on me."

"Do you want to do this? Or do you want to keep living your life the way you do now?" She gave him an accusing look.

"Of course I want to do this, Clarke. But it's not as easy as you think."

The elevator door opened when it reached Raven's floor. Clarke stepped out, checking if Bellamy followed. She wouldn't be surprised if he stayed inside and ran back home.

"I know it's not easy," she said seriously. "But you'll relax as soon as you try some of Jasper and Monty's moonshine. You'll see."

An encouraging grin appeared on her face as she rang Raven's doorbell. She heard him inhale sharply before the brunette opened the door.

"You are late," she pointed out to Clarke before noticing a tall, bulky figure standing next to her. "Oh."

Bellamy cleared his throat. "Hey, Raven. Clarke invited me, hope you don't mind," he took the bottle of vodka from Clarke and handed it to the hostess.

"I brought alcohol," he smiled apologetically.

Raven's facial expression went from surprised to cheerful as she gladly accepted the bottle. "Of course I don't mind! Get in, you two!"

Jasper, Harper, Monroe and Murphy were already sprawled on the couch and bean bags, laughing and drinking clear liquid.

"Where's Monty?" Clarke frowned.

"Oh, he's got a new boyfriend and suddenly he fails to remember that we exist," Jasper rolled his eyes, sounding bitter.

"Jealous much, Jasper?" Harper chuckled.

"A little bit, yeah," he joked. "But I have a special cure to all the heartaches," he raised his glass and took a big gulp.

"Sit wherever you want, guys, it's time for games and booze!" Raven exclaimed.

A few hours later, games lay scattered on the floor. Clarke was seated comfortably on the couch next to her best friend, watching Bellamy and Murphy in a heated discussion over something. She smiled, glad to see that Bellamy was succeeding in realizing at least one part of their plan.

"So, is this whole Bellamy hanging out with us going to become like a regular thing now?" Raven whispered into her ear, catching her off guard.

Clarke shrugged. "I guess so. I hope you don't mind."

"How could I mind? He makes you happy," Raven said. "Whatever you two are, even if you're just friends which I highly doubt – he makes you happy and don't even try to deny it," she added when Clarke opened her mouth to protest.

"So by all means, keep bringing him to our little gatherings. I'm pretty sure everybody here likes him. Even Murphy, which is a rare thing," the brunette grinned.

Clarke didn't say anything for a while, letting Raven's words sink in. Before she started feeling guilty of her and Bellamy's hidden intentions when it came to hanging out with Murphy, she decided to change the topic.

"So, Finn asked me out," she announced absent-mindedly, staring at the remaining wine in her glass.

"Really?" Raven raised her dark eyebrows. "I can't really say I'm surprised. He's been drooling all over you for the past year. Did you say yes?"

"Yeah. We're going out tomorrow night," Clarke said flatly.

A frown appeared on the brunette's face. "Why did you say yes?"

Her friend gave her a confused look. "You told me a few weeks ago that I should go for it. Why change your mind now? Why do you seem so surprised?"

"Because, Clarke, if I remember correctly, you told me you don't like Finn and don't want to go out with him. Are you saying that's changed or…?"

"Raven, look," the blonde cut her off, her voice stern. "I want to give him a shot, okay? What's wrong with that? Finn is not a bad guy at all."

From the look the other girl was giving her, Clarke realized she was being way too defensive.

Raven raised her hands up in sign of surrender. "I didn't say anything was wrong with it. If you want to go out with him, do it. But I don't want you to feel pressured into anything."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

With that, they abandoned the topic. For the rest of the night, Clarke pushed back the annoying voice in the back of her head telling her to reconsider Raven's words. She knew she will have to face the truth eventually, but this wasn't the moment to do so.

Her and Bellamy left at the same time. Perhaps it was because of other reasons, but mostly because she wanted to get some time alone with him to find out how his bonding with Murphy went.

"Murphy's a good guy," Bellamy stated as they exited Raven's building. "A little cocky and proud, but he's a good guy. I'm afraid I'll start to feel guilty for using him like this if I hang out with him a few more times."

"Yeah, I know," Clarke sighed. "But there's no other way. Besides, we're not just using him. It's not like we're going to toss him aside and stop hanging out with him after all this is over."

Bellamy stared at her for a moment. She was speaking with such certainty and determination. She's gone through tremendous lengths to help him and she was prepared to do so much more for him. It's been a long time since Bellamy had someone who cared about him in such a way and he was beyond grateful to whoever or whatever sent Clarke to him.

"You're being so confident about this," he said hoarsely, trying to rid his voice of emotion. "You sound like you're sure of Murphy accepting our proposal, of Pike being locked up for a long time and of this entire thing working out."

"That's because I am sure," Clarke shrugged. "So how exactly do you want to spy on Pike?"

Bellamy shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and let out a breath. "Well, I'm supposed to meet him in the club next week so I'm thinking of following him after that, maybe try to find out where he has his stash," he scratched the back of his head. "I don't know, Clarke… I haven't fully figured it out yet. Keeping track of him is going to be hard, you know."

She stopped walking and turned to look at him. She was staring at him, her blue eyes filled with hope and compassion. Even though it was dark outside, the bright shine in her eyes was visible under the street lights.

"I know. But if you do this right, you can finally have a chance of better future. Of a future free of Pike and drug dealing and this suffocating life. I believe that you can do it and so should you."

Her voice was gentle, warming Bellamy's heart. Even when everything seemed hopeless to and nothing was certain, Clarke managed to find the encouraging words for him. He couldn't think of a response so he just stared back at her, hoping the look in his eyes was enough to express his gratitude.

"So you have a hot date tomorrow," he said after a while and immediately regretted it. He wanted to bang his head against the wall because of his stupidity. There were so many better things to say and he chose _that_.

A frown appeared on her face. "I wouldn't exactly call it hot. But how do you know that?"

"I overheard you and Raven talking," Bellamy shrugged.

He tried to sound relaxed and not let jealousy coat his voice. The thought of Clarke going out with some dumbass made him cringe. He knew he was being irrational – there was absolutely no justification for his jealousy. But he couldn't help it.

He liked her more than he wanted to admit to himself. And he was way past the stage of pure physical attraction. He found himself thinking of her pretty face in the middle of the day and waiting anxiously for her texts like a stupid teenager.

"It's just a guy from work," Clarke said casually.

"Oh, so he's a doctor as well?" Bellamy's voice was higher than he wanted it to be.

"Yup," she nodded, playing with the hem of her shirt nervously.

She seemed uncomfortable discussing this topic with him so he just decided to let it go. He clenched his jaw and muttered "have fun then" before they parted ways and headed home.

How could he ever think he had a shot with Clarke? How could he possibly compete with a doctor? He was nothing. He had nothing to offer her while this Finn guy probably had his life all figured out. And Bellamy was just a criminal who ruined everything good in his life. No matter how hard he tried to fix it, he would never be nearly as good for Clarke as this guy probably is.

He tossed and turned in his bed, unable to fall asleep. Awful thoughts devoured his mind for a long time before exhaustion finally took over.

He slept until he had to get up for the afternoon shift at the bar. He was grumpy all day, even breaking a few glasses which usually didn't happen to him.

When he came home from work, he collapsed on the bed, burying his head in the pillow. He checked the time – it was almost midnight. Clarke should've been back from her date by now. Unless the date went really well and she wasn't coming home tonight. He resisted the urge to text her and check on her.

He let out a loud groan. He hated how much of influence Clarke had on his mood.

He didn't know exactly how much time he spent moping sprawled on the bed until he heard a knock on his door.

Bellamy hadn't planned on opening the door to someone so late in the night, but when he saw a flash of blonde hair through the peephole, he swung the door open.

"Clarke," he breathed, cursing the fact that he sounded extremely pathetic.

He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked. She wore a beige lacy dress with a thin black belt around her waist and a matching jacket. Her hair was curlier than usual, falling on her shoulders in golden curls.

In one of her hands she held a bottle of tequila and in the other a pair of black heels. She was barefoot.

"Hey," she said softly. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No," he shook his head. "No, I just… I came back from work," he stuttered.

"Can I come in? I brought tequila," she smiled, dangling the bottle in front of his face.

"Of course," he stepped back to let her pass.

Once she was inside, she turned to him and let out a shaky laugh. "That was a lousy date."

Bellamy chuckled, all the tension leaving his body. He was no longer confused now that he knew why Clarke visited. And he was beyond glad that he was the first person she came to after having a crappy time.

He shut the door behind him and headed for the kitchen to get some glasses.

By the time he got back, Clarke was already seated comfortably on the couch, her shoes discarded by the door and her jacket draped carelessly over the nearby chair.

"Tell me all about it," Bellamy encouraged her as he poured tequila in the nicest glasses he could find. They were quite old and not nearly as fancy as the one Clarke had in her apartment, but at least they were made of actual glass, unlike the plastic ones he usually used.

"There's not really a lot to tell," Clarke propped up her bare feet on the little coffee table and accepted the drink from him.

Bellamy smiled at the sight of her, glad to see that she was now completely comfortable around him. He sat next to her and took a sip from his glass as he waited for her to start talking.

"He was extremely boring," Clarke sighed. "Literally all he talked about was his impeccable GPA in college and how he was the best in his class and all the important surgeries he got to attend while he was just an intern," she rolled her eyes and downed her drink in one gulp.

Bellamy laughed as he refilled her glass. If she keeps going at this pace, she'll get more drunk than that time when they went clubbing.

"Even when he asked me questions, he would somehow manage to make it all about himself. I can't remember the last time I had a date worse than that. Hell, I can't remember the last time I had a date."

"It was a bad idea to go on a date with him. It's not like I liked him to begin with."

Bellamy frowned. He would never fully understand women. "Then why did you…"

"I don't know!" She threw her arms up in exasperation. "I guess I felt sorry for him. He kept asking me out since we started working together. And not only that… I also did it for myself. To see if I'm ready to love again," her voice trembled a little as she looked at him.

"Are you?" Bellamy's voice was barely a whisper.

"I think so," she nodded. "But not him."

He stared at her gorgeous blue eyes for a long time, his heart beating so hard that he thought it might jump out of his chest. When she finally looked away, he had to take a sip of his drink to calm down a little.

"I'm sorry." Clarke said after a while. "I just came here and started to babble about things you're not even interested in and maybe you wanted to go to sleep and…"

"Clarke, stop." He cut her off, grabbing her wrist. "You're always welcome here," he said gently, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb against her soft skin.

The blonde smiled, leaning her head against the back of the couch. "Thank you."

Bellamy eventually let go of her and grabbed the TV remote. "So, what are we watching?"

"Whatever you want," Clarke shrugged. "I just know that I want to get drunk. Oh, and eat something. Can we order pizza? Finn took me to some fancy restaurant and all I ate was a salad. Because I didn't know what the rest of the names of foods on the menu meant."

He chuckled and reached for his phone. "Sure, Princess."

When Bellamy woke up, Clarke was nowhere to be seen. He rubbed his neck which got stiff because of the cramped position he slept in.

He remembered last night in a blur. They ate all of the pizza and drank the tequila until the bottle was almost empty and their heads felt really light. They watched crappy TV and talked and laughed. Eventually they fell asleep on the couch next to each other, Clarke's blonde head resting against Bellamy's shoulder.

He could still smell her perfume on his shirt.

He groaned, cursing out loud at how hopeless and pathetic he'd become.

Getting up to make himself some coffee, he noticed a piece of paper on the table.

 _I_ _'_ _m sorry I couldn_ _'_ _t stay. There was an emergency and I got called in from the hospital. Thanks for last night. It really meant a lot to me -xo Clarke_

He stared at what she wrote and couldn't help but grin. Maybe he was an idiot for trying to reach for something that seemed unreachable, but he didn't care. Because for the first time in forever, he thought that maybe he wasn't a nobody after all.

He knew he was nowhere near deserving Clarke, but maybe if he tried, he could get his chance with her. For the first time in forever, he had hope.

Clarke opened the door of her friend's office to find her nurse sitting behind the desk.

"Hello, dr. Griffin. Can I help you?"

"Hi, Janine. Um, is Niylah still busy? I'm supposed to grab lunch with her right now."

Niylah was one of the lead gynecologists in the hospital and Clarke's good friend. Except for the times when they had surgeries together, they rarely got to see each other. That's why they cherished the moments when they were both available and used them to hang out informally.

"She's still inside with a patient, but they should be done any minute now. Have a seat. You can wait for her here," Janine smiled politely and offered Clarke a chair.

It wasn't long until the door of the examination room opened and a young, beautiful woman came out. She had dark hair, tanned skin and crystal clear blue eyes. She wore a long coat so Clarke couldn't quite tell if she was pregnant or if she was just there for a regular check-up.

"Everything alright, miss Blake?" The nurse asked her.

Clarke frowned at the last name, but decided to ignore it.

The dark-haired woman flashed her a smile, showing her gorgeous white teeth. "Everything's perfect, Janine. And I already told you to call me Octavia."

Clarke didn't hear a word the two women exchanged after that nor when the door closed behind the dark-haired one.

Octavia Blake.

There couldn't be a lot of women named like that in the town. She had to be Bellamy's sister.

"That…that was Octavia Blake?" Clarke asked Janine, stuttering. She was still in shock.

"Yes. Do you know her?"

Clarke shook her head. "No, I… What was she here for?"

"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to tell you that, dr. Griffin."

"Oh come on, Janine," the blonde pleaded. "This is really important to me. Is she pregnant?"

The nurse gave her a puzzled look, confused by her sudden interest at this random patient, but nodded anyway.

It was a good thing Clarke was sitting because she suddenly felt very dizzy. Bellamy is going to be an uncle _. Bellamy is going to be an uncle._

He would want to know that. She had to tell him. She had to tell him and find a way for him to reach out to his sister again. This was a big deal.

Bellamy's going to be an uncle.

* * *

 **Don't forget to let me know your thoughts on this chapter! Do you like the direction of Bellamy's and Clarke's relationship so far? How do you think he'll react when he finds out Octavia is pregnant? And do you think they'll manage to defeat Pike? Let me know in the reviews!**  
 **Oh and btw how awesome is season 4 of The 100? Episode 5 was insane omg. And Bellarke is killing me ugh!**  
 **Anyways, find me on Tumblr (blakeesgriffin) where we can discuss the show or you can ask me questions about the story or whatever you want. See ya next time!**


	8. Chapter 8

_Hello everyone! I hate to be a jerk again and not updating for so long, but college got in the way of my writing. I basically have this entire story planned, but I simply can't find time for writing. But there's only three more weeks until the end of semester and then I'll have plenty of time to update more often! I hope you are still interested in this story.  
This chapter is a bit longer than usual and I'm really excited about it so I hope you guys like it!  
Let me know what you think :)_

* * *

After her lunch with Niylah and for the rest of her shift, Clarke couldn't stop thinking about Bellamy's future niece or nephew. She obviously couldn't tell him Octavia was pregnant because she wasn't allowed to. She wasn't even supposed to know that. Regardless of how close she was with Bellamy, she still had to respect the patient confidentiality policy. Instead, she would have to find a way to get him to reach out to her and find out himself.

She definitely wanted to meet his sister one day, but accidentally bumping into her in the hospital and finding out she was pregnant wasn't the way she imagined it.

When she finally got into her car after a long and exhausting day, Clarke reached for her phone to text Bellamy only to see that she's already got two missed calls and a text from him saying: I need to talk to you.

It was already 1 am since Clarke had to work extra hours as usual and Bellamy was most likely asleep, but she couldn't wait until morning. She dialed his number and called him immediately because he obviously wanted to discuss something important.

He picked up after the second ring.

"Where are you?" Clarke asked.

"Driving to the hospital. Your shift should be done by now, right?" His voice was deep and serious over the phone. He knew when she would be done because she texted him earlier, complaining about the surgery she had scheduled.

"Yeah, I'm in the parking lot. I was just about to head home."

"Good. Stay where you are. I'll be there in five."

Clarke tapped on the steering wheel anxiously, waiting for Bellamy to arrive. She got so preoccupied by thinking of what he might want to say to her that she jumped a little in her seat when he tapped on her car window.

He slid into the passenger seat next to her when she unlocked the door.

"What's going on?" She asked as soon as he opened the door, her heart beating like crazy as she waited for an answer.

"I followed Pike," he said quietly even though no one could hear them since they were in the car.

"Really?" Clarke's eyes went wide. "Did you find anything?"

"I went to the Dropship and found him there. I got lucky because he wasn't heading home after or anywhere else. He was heading to the storage unit on the other side of the town."

"He didn't see you, did he?" She asked, concerned.

Bellamy shook his head. "He couldn't have. I'm really good at camouflage, you know. You're forgetting I used to be a cop."

Clarke rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore his completely unnecessary statement. "So what now? You didn't happen to see what he has inside, did you?"

"No, but I'm sure you can figure that out by yourself."

"I'm surprised that you're being so naïve and think that he's hiding his drug stash in a fucking storage unit where basically anybody could find it."

"I'm not being naïve, Clarke. I'm trying to think like him. And a storage unit is the last place someone would look when trying to find drugs because no one thinks that Pike would be so stupid to hide it in a public place. And that's exactly why he's done it."

Clarke shook her head. "I don't believe it," she said firmly. "I mean, it may be true, but the chances are very slim. Besides, what do you suppose we do now? Just go to the police and report something that doesn't make any sense? How do you think they're supposed to get a warrant for that? They would literally have no proof but your word which may not even be true. It's way too risky."

Bellamy stared at her for a few moments before exhaling deeply in sign of surrender.

"You're right. I can't believe how stupid I was. I guess I just got overexcited and everything made sense… Everything seemed so doable and I was full of hope. But now I see that none of it makes sense."

He sounded and looked completely defeated. Clarke felt immediately sorry for him, but it's not like she could've lied to him and say that his plan was good when it wasn't.

"But I have to do something, Clarke," he looked up at her, his eyes filled with sadness. "I don't want to live this way anymore," his voice cracked.

"I know," she whispered, reaching out to hug him. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders (which wasn't an easy task since there wasn't a lot of room left in her car) and squeezed tightly.

She tried to ignore the fact that her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck and that he smelled wonderfully, like he just got out of shower. She pushed the thoughts away, knowing that she should be thinking of something entirely different in that moment.

Bellamy seemed surprised by her action at first, but he relaxed after a short moment, rubbing her back gently as he hugged her back.

"I think it's time we go to Murphy," she mumbled in his shoulder.

He pulled away abruptly, staring at her with a frown on his face.

"I'm sure he'll be able to come up with a plan," Clarke elaborated. "You have to tell him the truth. I trust him and I'm sure you do too."

"Fine," he said after a few moments. Clarke was genuinely surprised that he didn't protest against her idea.

"Great. Then I'll call him in the morning and hopefully we can meet up with him tomorrow."

"We?" Bellamy raised his eyebrows. "No. This is something I need to do this alone."

Clarke opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a grown ass man. And I don't need you to hold my hand while I deal with the shit I got myself into. You're already way too involved in this and I can't let you intervene even more. You have no idea how dangerous it might be."

His voice was firm and determined and Clarke knew better than to argue with him on that matter.

She exhaled, choosing not to say anything because she knew her voice would come out shaky. She was scared. Very scared. She knew it would come to this one day, but she had no idea that this day would come so soon.

She was afraid, not knowing Bellamy's fate. She was afraid of how Murphy will react. Even though he was their friend, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't lock Bellamy up as soon as he told him the truth. But Bellamy had no choice. He couldn't be Pike's slave forever and Murphy was his only chance.

Clarke's hands were shaking in her lap as she watched Bellamy leave her car and enter his own. She started the engine and decided to drive aimlessly through the city for a while, knowing she wouldn't be able to get much sleep that night anyway.

* * *

They called her from the hospital due to an emergency the other day, even though it was supposed to be her day off. There was a huge car accident and a lot of people needed help, not leaving Clarke much room to think about other things except her job.

She spent an entire day and most of the evening in the ER. It wasn't until past midnight when she was finally able to reach her phone and call Bellamy to check whether he met up with Murphy or not.

She sat on the bed in the on-call room, her hands shaking as she dialed his number. Not only was she stressed because of a day she had just had, but also because she had no idea what was happening to Bellamy in that exact moment. He might've already been in jail for all she knew.

The phone rang multiple times, but there was no answer. Her heart started pounding like crazy and worry filled her bones. After pointlessly calling Bellamy a few more times, she decided to ring Murphy. He wasn't answering his phone either.

Clarke stood up and started pacing nervously around a room, not having a clue of what to do next. Horrible images of Bellamy locked up appeared in her mind and she immediately regretted suggesting him to go to Murphy in the first place. She almost started screaming in frustration, but she somehow managed to calm down and decide she should go check Bellamy's place first.

She absent-mindedly changed out of her scrubs and headed for her car. She was supposed to be exhausted after working for 15 hours, but adrenaline kicked in and she didn't feel tired at all.

Her phone rang just as she got out of the hospital. She reached for it as fast as she could and saw that Murphy was calling her.

"Hello?" She answered with a shaky voice, cold creeping through her veins.

"Clarke," Murphy sounded serious, but calm. "Don't freak out."

"What is going on?" Clarke couldn't help but yell nervously before Murphy even got the chance to say something.

"Don't freak out, but Bellamy's been shot."

Clarke felt as though her legs had been cut off and she was about to fall down. She regretted standing in the empty parking lot without having anything to lean on.

"He's fine," Murphy said in a rushed voice before Clarke started panicking. "He took a bullet in the stomach, but it didn't go deep. We managed to stop the bleeding and he's conscious and everything. He's going to be fine. We're taking him to hospital right now."

"Clarke? Are you there?" Murphy asked after not getting a response from the blonde.

"Yes. Yes, I am," she spoke quietly, still in the state of shock. "Just tell me what the hell happened. Did he get shot in jail?"

"Jail?" John sounded surprised. "No, of course not. I'll explain everything, you just stay calm. Are you at work?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, we'll be there in a few minutes."

With that, he hung up, leaving Clarke frozen in place. Without even thinking about it, she started walking back to the ER, her mind only replaying Murphy's words.

Bellamy's been shot. Bellamy's been shot. _Bellamy_ _'_ _s been shot._

She found herself in the emergency room, ignoring the questions of her colleagues who kept asking why she didn't go home. She must've looked awful because they stared at her as though they've seen a ghost.

She kept staring at the entrance until the door finally opened and she spotted Murphy pushing Bellamy inside in a wheelchair which they must've given him outside. There were a few more police officers behind Murphy, but Clarke paid no attention to them as she rushed to Bellamy's side.

The front of his shirt was soaked in blood and his middle was wrapped with bandages. He was pale, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily, but conscious, giving Clarke a bit of a relief.

"Clarke," he gritted through his teeth, trying to be as composed as possible when he saw the horrified look on her face.

She admired his courage and calmness in a moment like that. There was fear in his eyes, but he was trying to hide it, as though he didn't want her to worry too much. She almost started crying when she realized how hard he must've been trying not to scream in pain in front of her.

"We need to get you to surgery right now," she breathed out, pushing the hair out of his forehead to check if he was feverish. He wasn't.

She was about to call for someone when she saw a team of doctors, including Finn, running over to them and taking Bellamy away from her.

"It's okay, Clarke. We're going to take care of him," Finn said to her before disappearing in the OR.

She was a little surprised at first because Finn didn't know that she knew Bellamy, but then she realized her cheeks were wet and huge tears were streaming down her face.

She sank down in the chair of a waiting room, not having any other choice but to wait for her colleagues to do their job. Murphy sat next to her, knowing she must've waited for an explanation.

"Tell me what happened," her voice cracked.

"Bellamy came to me this afternoon. He told me everything. How he worked for Pike and didn't want to do it anymore, but didn't have any other choice… He said he didn't know how to get out of it and that he needed my help. I was so pissed at him," Murphy ran his hand through his hair which was already messy, unlike all the other times when Clarke saw him.

"I realized that he's been using me this entire time. And you did, as well."

Clarke opened her mouth to try to defend herself, but he cut her off.

"You don't have to say anything," she felt a tinge of relief when she realized Murphy didn't sound angry at all.

"Anyways, we've made a deal. I was going to protect him and prevent him going to prison for dealing drugs if he helped me and the rest of my team to arrest Pike. Bellamy agreed and we decided to act as fast as possible."

"I went to my chief Kane and told him everything. We would've locked Bellamy up in any other case, but we really needed him this time to finally get that bastard behind bars. We've been chasing him for years and to say we were desperate would be an understatement. So we've agreed to send Bellamy on an undercover task. I asked him not to tell you before it was all over. That's why you hadn't heard from him yesterday. Not because he wanted to keep secrets from you, but because I asked him to."

Clarke inhaled sharply, bracing herself for what Murphy was about to say.

"He called Pike, telling him he needed a new batch to sell. They met up in an alley behind the Dropship and we were waiting there, hidden. When we saw an opportunity, we came to Pike from behind, but he must've heard us. Before we managed to react, he pulled out a gun and shot Bellamy, screaming at him for being a snitch. He would've killed him if one of my guys didn't shoot him in the arm."

Clarke buried her face in her hands, trying to control the tears pouring out of her eyes. Her body was shaking uncontrollably. When she felt Murphy's hand landing gently on her back, she managed to calm down a little.

"Did you at least arrest that bastard?" She raised her head, looking in her friend's eyes hopefully.

She expected to feel relieved when Murphy nodded, but instead she felt incredibly guilty and angry at herself.

This was all her fault. If she hadn't made Bellamy go to Murphy, he wouldn't have gotten injured and almost killed. If she hadn't tried to control everything like she always did, the man she loved wouldn't be lying in the operation room, fighting for his life.

The man she loved.

That was probably the stupidest moment ever for her to realize she loved Bellamy.

But did she really love him? What kind of a person would endanger a life of someone they were in love with?

She let out a sigh, realizing it's only been 20 minutes since Murphy brought Bellamy in. The next few hours were going to be living hell.

Murphy must've noticed that Clarke was in deep thought because he stopped talking. They sat in silence, exchanging a word here and there until Finn finally got out of the OR.

Finn assured Clarke that Bellamy was going to be fine. He needed to spend a few days in the hospital, but he didn't lose a huge amount of blood and the bullet didn't reach any important organs. Clarke could see Finn was curious about Bellamy and wanted to know who he was to her, but he didn't ask, probably because of the disheveled state she was in.

Murphy left somewhere around 5 am, knowing that Bellamy would rather see Clarke when he woke up than him. He brought Clarke a coffee before leaving after she shook off his advice to sleep.

* * *

The sun was already high up when they finally let her in Bellamy's room. She was determined to sit in a chair next to his bed until he woke up.

She sat there for almost two hours when Finn walked in.

"Hey," he said a little awkwardly, handing her a paper bag. "I brought you a sandwich. I figured you'd be hungry since you seem keen on not leaving his side."

"Thanks," Clarke said, trying to smile at him but failing.

"It's going to take a while until anesthesia and pain meds wear off, you know. You could go home, take a shower or a nap or something," Finn suggested.

Clarke shook her head. "I'm not leaving him. He doesn't have anyone," she swallowed when she felt tears prickling her eyes. "I can't let him be alone when he wakes up."

"Who is he, Clarke?" Finn asked quietly, as though she was fragile and she might break if he spoke up.

Clarke stared at Bellamy's beautiful face which was now paler than usual, making his freckles stand out. She made a gentle gesture of brushing his hair away from his forehead, completely forgetting of Finn standing there.

"He's my friend," she said when she finally remembered that the other doctor was waiting for a response.

"He must be more than that, Clarke."

"Don't think that I'm angry or judging you or something," Finn stated softly when Clarke didn't say anything. "I'm just making an observation."

The blonde just glanced at him, not knowing how to reply to his 'observation'. She would be lying if she disagreed with him so she figured it would be better to just not say anything.

"He's lucky to have you," he smiled at her before making his way out, leaving her alone with her thoughts again.

Even though she had been awake for two days, Clarke knew she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep until Bellamy wakes up. To pass the time through the rest of the day, she went through her patients' files, always keeping half of her attention on Bellamy's vitals. Although she was convinced she wasn't hungry, her stomach started grumbling at some point and she felt genuinely grateful for the sandwich which Finn had brought earlier.

Bellamy started stirring in the middle of the afternoon and Clarke immediately dropped everything she was doing. A small smile appeared on his lips when he opened his big brown eyes and spotted the blonde next to him.

"Hey," his voice came out hoarse, but strong.

"Hey," Clarke smiled back at him, feeling her eyes filling with tears yet again. "You scared the hell out of me, just so you know."

He tried to chuckle, but winced in pain instead, his hand instantly going to the place where he was injured.

Clarke jumped from her chair instantly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a little scratch," he teased.

"No, it's not," she sat next to him on the bed, being careful not to touch him and cause him more pain. "You took a bullet in your gut. You had to go to surgery. It's not a joke."

She felt like she might cry again. When the hell did she become so emotional?

Bellamy grabbed her hand, gently rubbing circles on the inside of her palm. "I know. But I'm okay, really. It doesn't hurt that bad."

"Yeah, you just wait until pain meds wear off."

"Gee, thanks for trying to soothe me," he joked.

"I'm sorry, Bellamy," Clarke sniffed. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't made you go to Murphy…"

"What are you talking about?" He cut her off. "None of this is your fault. If you hadn't introduced me to Murphy at first place, Pike would never be arrested and I'd still be in the same place I was before I met you. You only made my life better, Clarke. Don't you dare blame yourself for…"

He didn't get the chance to finish what he was saying because Clarke leaned forward and gently pressed her lips against his.

She knew this wasn't the best time for them to have their first kiss, but she just couldn't wait anymore. She knew she cared about him before, but this horrible event made her realize just how scared she was of losing him.

Clarke didn't want to push Bellamy too hard so the kiss was short, but very, very sweet. She felt butterflies in her stomach like she was in high school again. For a moment, she forgot about terrible stuff that happened and focused only on him.

When she pulled away, he was grinning like an idiot.

"If I knew that's what it took to get you to kiss me, I would've gotten myself shot a long time ago," he smirked.

"If you weren't lying in a hospital bed right now, I would punch you for saying that," Clarke smirked back before leaning forward to kiss him again.

* * *

 **Did you like it or did you hate it? Don't forget to review! Your feedback really means a lot to me.**

 **I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible!**

 **Thanks for reading xo**


	9. Chapter 9

_The reason why I'm uploading this chapter so fast is because that finale broke me and fanfiction is my only escape from reality. In my world Bellamy and Clarke are not separated for 6 years. Fml._

 _I hope you guys like this chapter!_

* * *

Bellamy spent the last hour going through the TV channels and not finding anything. Eventually he turned the TV off, almost throwing the remote at the wall.

He'd been spending his days like that for almost two weeks now with Clarke's visits as the only thing keeping him sane.

He felt well enough to go out of the hospital for days, but they just wouldn't let him go home yet. He felt like he might go crazy. Pike was arrested, Bellamy didn't need to do his dirty job anymore and he just couldn't wait to go out there and finally live his life as a free man.

For the first time in a long time, he finally had something to look forward to. And that something was just walking through the door of his hospital room, wearing scrubs and a messy bun.

As soon as Clarke walked in and closed the door behind her, Bellamy stood up, ignoring the slight tinge of pain in his lower abdomen.

Her eyes went wide and her cheeks turned red from anger. "What are you doing? You're supposed to be in bed! Why are you standing up?"

"I'm standing up so that I can finally do this properly," he smirked and made a few long steps to where she was standing. Wrapping his strong arms around her waist, he crushed his lips to hers and kissed her long and hard.

She whimpered as a sign of protest at first, but her voice got lost when he pressed his body against hers. He felt her hands sneaking behind his neck and her fingers finally resting in his hair, stroking it gently.

Bellamy wanted to kiss her like that for an incredibly long time, but his desire grew stronger when she first kissed him after he had his surgery. It was still hard for him to believe that Clarke Griffin actually wanted to be with him. Since that moment, he'd been asking himself and the universe what could he, Bellamy Blake, possibly had done to deserve such an extraordinary woman.

He'd been on bed rest since the day he got shot and until now, Clarke was super gentle with him, giving him little kisses and cuddling with him on the bed occasionally, after her shift ended. He couldn't complain, but at this point he wanted more and more importantly, he wanted to show Clarke how much he wanted her. He was pretty sure that the way he'd just kissed her showed that.

When he finally pulled away, Clarke was staring at him wide-eyed and flushed, one of her hands resting on his chest and the other propped against his shoulder. She looked as if she might fall down. Just the reaction he was going for.

"How am I supposed to go back to doing rounds after this?" She asked, a wide smile spreading across her lips. Bellamy could've sworn he saw her knees wobble a little.

"You're not. You could go get my discharge papers and spend the rest of the day with me," he pressed a loud kiss against her forehead, still not letting go of her.

She groaned and rested her head against his shoulder for a moment. "You have no idea how much I wish I could do that right now. But," she looked up and freed herself from his grip, "I have a lot of work to do and you need to stay here for a few more days," she poked his arm with her finger, emphasizing every word of her last sentence.

It was now Bellamy's turn to groan. "But I'm completely fine."

Clarke rested her hands on her hips, a small frown appearing between her brows. "You might think that, but you're not fine just yet. At least not fine enough to be discharged. Now go back to bed."

Bellamy rolled his eyes in an overdramatic manner, making her let out a chuckle. "Yes, mom," he turned around and started walking slowly, taking a ridiculous amount of time to get to his bed.

The blonde snorted at him, already on her way out, which Bellamy wasn't too happy about.

"I'll stop by when my shift ends. See you later," she blew him a kiss and left the room.

He couldn't wipe the smile off his face for almost an hour after that. He knew that the image of a flushed, happy Clarke would keep him going for the few more days he needed to spend in that stupid hospital bed.

He wasn't exactly sure of the moment it happened, but Bellamy knew he loved Clarke Griffin with all his heart. He was aware of the fact that he liked her from the moment she drove him home and treated his wounds in that godawful apartment of his.

And just like that, she crept up on him, sneaking her way into his once shattered heart. Until a few weeks ago, he didn't think it was possible for her to return his feelings, but he was willing to do whatever it takes to prove to her that he was willing to change his life.

And so he did.

He listened to her advice and went to Murphy. Murphy was pissed at Bellamy when he appeared at the police station, telling him every little detail of his weird relationship with Pike. He told him everything, from the moment Gina died and he sought escape among a bad crowd, to the time he met Clarke and decided he could never go back to his old habits again.

Yes, Murphy was very angry with him, but still he couldn't arrest Bellamy because he considered him his friend so he offered him immunity. Even though there was no other choice, Bellamy felt incredibly sorry that he had to use Murphy like that. The detective might've been a little grumpy and annoying at times, but he had a good heart.

Bellamy hoped Murphy would be able to forgive him, especially now that he helped him catch Pike, even taking a bullet while doing so.

But he didn't regret risking his life. It was worth the cause. Not only did they got rid of Pike, but he grew in Clarke's eyes as well, making him basically the happiest man on Earth.

Of course he still had his doubts about Pike coming after him. Although he was behind bars, charged with attempted murder, assaulting police officers, possessing illegal substances and god knows what else, he still had men outside who were very loyal to him.

But Bellamy didn't want to think about that just yet. Right now, he wanted to enjoy the fact that he was free of Pike and he could finally focus on worrying about things other than how to get money for him.

He was even happier when he realized how much it meant to Clarke that he finally changed the course of his life. He would never forget the look of adoration and pride in her eyes after his surgery. He would never forget the tears and fear in her eyes when they brought him to the ER. He would never forget how hard he had to pretend that he wasn't experiencing horrific pain so that Clarke wouldn't worry too much and be swallowed by guilt.

* * *

When Clarke entered his room later that day, she was wearing her regular clothes instead of scrubs and she let her hair down, but it was still a little messy. Bellamy could see on her face how tired she was and he appreciated the fact that she still stopped by to see him instead of going straight to bed even more.

"Hey, you," she smiled, leaning down to press a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey," he grinned back at her, sitting up in his bed and dismissing the book about Ancient Rome which he was reading. "How was your day?"

"Long," she sighed, plopping down in the chair next to Bellamy. "But I didn't lose any patients so I'd say it was a pretty good day."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about," Clarke pushed her chair closer to him. She didn't sound deadly serious, but Bellamy was still intrigued by the mysterious tone of her voice.

He nodded, encouraging her to elaborate. She ran her hand through her already messy hair, looking as though she was nervous because of what she was about to say.

"Have you, maybe, considered reaching out to your sister again?"

That was probably the last thing Bellamy expected to hear in that moment. He stared at Clarke, at her clear blue eyes giving him a hopeful look.

He started thinking about Octavia and just like that, the euphoria he felt through the entire day evaporated. He missed his sister more than anything and that was exactly why he didn't let himself think about her too often. It literally made his heart ache.

"I always consider that," he shrugged. "But why ask me this right now?"

Clarke must've noticed the broken look on his face because she gently took his hand. "Well, I know that you miss her a lot. And that you definitely don't want to spend the rest of your life not talking to her."

Bellamy just hummed in agreement before Clarke went on.

"I know you have doubts about her forgiving you and that you think she doesn't want to see you ever again. But I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure that, if you show her that you've changed your habits and that you're willing to go back to being a person you were before, she'll forgive you right away. Because I'm sure she misses you a lot too."

"Do you really think she'd be able to move past everything? You have no idea how mean I've been to Lincoln. I'm not sure Octavia can forget that."

"Well, if you apologize to both her and Lincoln, I'm sure they'll find a way to forgive you. From what you've told me, they seem like very good people."

"They are," Bellamy nodded, clearing his throat to chase away the tears that prickled the back of his eyes. "And they didn't deserve what I said to them. But I just wanted to protect my sister."

"I know," Clarke gave him an encouraging smile.

"Come here," he wiggled a little to make room for her on the bed. She took off her shoes immediately and nestled herself next to him, her head resting on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, running his fingers up and down her arm absent-mindedly.

"So you promise you'll try to make amends with her?" Clarke looked up at him.

"Yes, of course. I just don't get why it means so much to you," Bellamy frowned.

"I just want you to be happy. And you could never be happy without Octavia in your life," the blonde mumbled, the sound of her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

Instead of saying something, Bellamy just squeezed her a little tighter and pressed a kiss against her temple. At that moment, he couldn't find the words to express his gratitude and love for the amazing woman lying next to him. No words would be enough. So he squeezed her a little tighter, hoping she would get at least a hint of how much he appreciated her.

* * *

A few days later, they finally cleared Bellamy to go home. When Clarke let him know, he was so anxious to leave the hospital that she sent him to get his discharge papers while she would finish packing his stuff.

She just put the last of his clothes in a travel bag when Finn appeared at the door. She had to try hard not to roll her eyes when she saw him. He acted weirdly ever since Bellamy was brought to the hospital. Clarke guessed he must've known that she and Bellamy were involved and that was the reason for his strange behavior.

"Hey," Finn said, approaching her. "Your boyfriend's all ready to go home?"

The malicious tone in his voice told Clarke everything. He sounded very bitter and she almost told him to get lost. He had absolutely no right to be jealous. Clarke only went on one date with him which went horribly and after that, she clearly let him know that she's not interested. She just hoped Bellamy would appear soon so that they could leave.

"Yeah. He's gone to get his discharge papers. He should be back any minute now," Clarke said, hoping Finn would take a hint and leave. Unfortunately, he kept talking.

"I don't get why you're with him, Clarke. What do you see in him?"

Anger rose in her and she could feel the heat coming to her cheeks. "What kind of a question is that?"

"I know why he got shot. I know who he is and what he's been doing," Finn said angrily, stepping closer to Clarke.

She wanted to move away from him, but she was frozen in place because of what Finn just said.

"Oh don't worry, I'm not planning on telling anyone. Besides, he has immunity, doesn't he?"

When Clarke didn't respond, he continued on.

"I can't believe you've gotten yourself involved with a criminal. I thought you knew better than this, Clarke."

"Stop it! You don't know him at all and you have no right to talk about him like this just because you're and jealous," she snapped at him, not being able to contain it anymore.

"I'm not saying this to you because I'm jealous, but because I care about you. You're not thinking straight at all! Sure, you may be happy now, but are you going to be happy in a year or two when you realize he has nothing to give you but a crappy life? When you realize he's a no good who expects you to take care of him for the rest of his life? You deserve better, Clarke. You could do so much better than him."

If she heard those words a couple of months ago, Clarke might've let herself believe what he was saying. But after spending so much time with Bellamy and seeing him for who he really is, she couldn't let Finn's words get to her. She knew he was wrong and she was ready to tell him that.

"Oh let me guess, by saying better than him you mean yourself? You're selfish, shallow and so self-centered that you don't care about anyone's feelings except for yours. No matter what happens, I would always choose him over you! I'd choose him over anyone! Now get out and stop telling me who I should and shouldn't love."

When she finished her little speech, she felt as though her heart might jump out of her chest. She knew Finn was a crappy person, but she never realized how crappy he actually was. She didn't know how she was supposed to look him in the eye at work ever again.

"Oh, so now you love him?" Finn threw his arms up in the air, judging her from head to toe.

"I said get out!"

He didn't spare her a glance as he walked out of the room. Clarke was relieved when Bellamy finally walked in, ready to go. She hoped there was no longer trace of fury which Finn caused on her face.

When she drove Bellamy home, she was trying to chase away Finn's words, focusing instead on the fact that Bellamy is okay, he's home and they can finally be happy together.

She managed to calm down by the time they got to his building. She opened the door of the driver's seat, ready to get out of the car, but changed her mind when she realized Bellamy didn't open his.

"What's wrong?" She asked, seeing the worried look on his face.

"Finn is right, Clarke," he said, sounding defeated. He stared at the parking lot ahead, refusing to look her in the eye.

Clarke's heart sank. She couldn't believe Bellamy heard those horrible things. Just when he was finally starting to accept and forgive himself, he had to hear that.

"I was stupid to think that we could be together. I allowed myself to be consumed by all of it, by the idea of being with you. But we're from two different worlds. I'm not right for you. I don't deserve you. You deserve so much better. That's why I think it's better for us to stop seeing each other before we get in too deep," he swallowed.

When he finally turned around, Clarke noticed the tears in his eyes. She felt the tears burning in the back of her throat as well.

"You don't get to say what's right for me," her voice cracked. "And don't you dare listen to what that asshole is saying. Don't you dare let yourself be discouraged by it! You know what I think about you and nothing can change that."

"You may think like that now, Clarke, but you won't be thinking like that in a few years when you'll be a successful surgeon and I'll still be a bartender," there was bitterness in his voice as he basically repeated what Finn said before.

"Stop that!" The blonde raised her voice. "If you heard all that, then you must've heard the part about me loving you as well. You're saying I deserve better. Well, I sure as hell don't deserve being discarded by you like an old rag just because you feel like feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm sorry, Clarke. But you'll understand why I'm doing this when some time passes." With that, he got out of the car.

Clarke didn't let herself cry when he was grabbing his stuff out of the trunk and she saw him walking away from her. She didn't cry when he disappeared out of her sight and she stayed in the parking lot for another half an hour, staring at the building in front of her.

She didn't cry because she knew it wasn't over. It couldn't be over. She was going to give him a few days to calm down and think about how stupid his decision was.

And then she's going to get him back.

* * *

 **I know that a lot of you will probably think that this was a shitty ending and it was unnecessary to the story, but I think it was important to get that topic out because it would always be a problem if they didn't discuss it now. I know what I'm doing, don't worry. I hope you'll trust my judgement!**

 **Let me know what you thought of this chapter and feel free to give me suggestions. Your ideas are often actually pretty useful and they inspire me!**

 **Also that finale? I'm still not over it and I probably won't be until season 5. My tumblr (blakeesgriffin) is always open for discussion about the show or this story or anything else.**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading, I love you all xo**


	10. Chapter 10

_Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter! I hope you'll like it!_

 _Don't forget to tell me what you think :)_

* * *

Bellamy's hand was shaking a little as he lifted it to ring the doorbell on Lincoln's house. Well, it was actually more of a mansion than a house. Lincoln was a co-owner of some international company that sold tech and he was quite well off. Which meant that Octavia was probably living comfortably if she was still with him.

Bellamy hoped she was. Because otherwise, this trip would be pointless and he would only have to face a probably very angry Lincoln.

He hadn't spoken to his sister for two years and he hadn't seen her since Gina's funeral which was a year and a half ago. He reckoned she didn't change very much, but he was still very anxious to see her. Not to mention the fact that he was terrified that she'd refuse to talk to him or kick him out of the house. That thought was especially horrifying after losing Clarke. If his sister abandoned him too, that would mean he would have to go back to living a lonely life.

The door opened a few moments later and revealed Lincoln. He frowned when he saw Bellamy, crossing his strong arms across his firm chest.

Bellamy suddenly felt tiny. Not because of Lincoln's size – he wasn't that much bigger than Bellamy. He felt tiny standing there in front of this huge house when he basically had nothing except for the pile of garbage that was his car. He felt like a bug, especially when Lincoln's dark eyes pierced through him.

"Hey, Lincoln," Bellamy cleared his throat, trying to sound as nice as possible. "I know I'm probably the last person you expected to see. And the last person you wanted to see, if we're being honest. But I came here to apologize to both you and Octavia, if that's okay. Is she home?"

Lincoln eyed him suspiciously, like he didn't believe what the other man was saying. "What do you want, Bellamy? I doubt you would come here, just like that, for no other reason than wanting to make amends. Do you need money or something?"

"No. God, no," Bellamy shook his head.

For a moment, he was astonished by the fact that Lincoln would even think something like that. But when he remembered how awful he was to him and his sister in the past, he started to understand Lincoln's reaction.

"I'm telling the truth. I've changed. Well, I'm still changing and lately I've started to reconsider my past actions. I realized that what I did to you and Octavia was stupid and reckless and horrible. And I really want to apologize and I want my sister back. I want to at least try to gain her trust back and yours, if that's possible. I hope you'll let me," he spoke honestly and from his heart, really hoping Lincoln would believe him.

He felt relief flooding through him when Lincoln stepped aside from the doorway. "Come in," he said.

Bellamy's been in Lincoln's house before and he was aware of how luxurious it was. But after spending a year basically living in a hole, this house seemed even grander and more beautiful. The space was open and full of light and everything was painted white. As they entered the house, Bellamy first noticed a huge staircase in the middle of an enormous room. On his left, there were French doors leading to the terrace and on his right, an all-white living room which Lincoln led him too.

Bellamy sat on the white leather sofa, not feeling nearly fancy enough to be in such a place.

Lincoln sat in the armchair across, pouring him a glass of scotch which he provided from the bar.

"I want to discuss something with you before you get to see Octavia."

Even though he didn't sound threatening or mean, Bellamy couldn't help but be intimidated by Lincoln. Not only did he have all the material stuff Bellamy could only dream of, but he also had the woman he loved by his side. Unlike Bellamy, he was able to provide for her and give her everything she deserved. There was also the fact that the woman was Octavia and unlike him, Lincoln owned her trust.

Lincoln was in every way possible a better man than Bellamy. He proved that once again by letting him inside his house after he appeared out of nowhere, begging for forgiveness. Not all men would be able to get past what happened years ago when Bellamy was incredibly mean to him.

"When you did what you did two years ago, you hurt Octavia deeply," Lincoln took a sip from his glass, encouraging Bellamy to do the same.

"She still hasn't recovered from the way you acted. Even though she's still very angry with you, she misses her brother a lot," there was sadness in his voice, like he regretted deeply that he could give Octavia anything except for her brother's approval and love.

"I know you've been through a lot since we last saw each other, Bellamy. And I'm very sorry for that."

Lincoln spoke the words like he really meant them, with compassion and empathy. That made Bellamy admire him even more.

"But that doesn't make up for a fact that you were a total jerk and it's completely your fault that Octavia isn't speaking to you right now."

"I know. I'm aware of that and I can't describe to you how sorry I am…" Bellamy started to speak, but the other man cut him off.

"I believe you. But I need you to promise me something. Don't you ever hurt her like that again," he spoke the last sentence slowly, emphasizing every word. "Because I don't think she could take it."

"Of course I won't. I promise you," Bellamy sat up straight. "Thank you so much for giving me another chance. I know you can't forget all I said to you, but I hope I can gain your trust someday. I really hope so. I will try my best to do so."

"I'm really glad to hear that," Lincoln smiled, shaking Bellamy's hand. "Now let me get Octavia for you. I'm sure you'll be really surprised when you see her," he smirked, leaving the room.

Bellamy didn't really understand what Lincoln meant to say until he saw Octavia a few minutes later. Lincoln must've explained the situation to her because she wasn't wearing an angry expression when she saw her brother.

She hasn't aged a bit. Her face was still gorgeous, just like their mother's once had been, her dark hair even longer than before. Her blue eyes were filled with tears when she saw him.

She would've looked exactly the same as the last time Bellamy saw her if it wasn't for the big bump beneath the long, casual dress she wore.

"O." Bellamy's eyes went wide, probably filled with tears as well. Not only was he shocked and incredibly happy to see her after such a long time, but there was also a fact that she was carrying his future niece or nephew. "You're pregnant."

Octavia nodded and smiled through the tears, not being able to say anything.

"Can I hug you?" He whispered, unsure of her reaction.

She nodded once more, more eagerly this time and Bellamy rushed to her to wrap his arms around her. He wanted to squeeze her as tight as possible, but he knew he needed to be extra gentle because of the baby.

She hugged him back tightly, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Don't think I'm not mad at you anymore. I'm just really happy to see you," she mumbled, choking on the tears.

"I'm going to leave you guys alone now," Lincoln murmured in the background and disappeared.

"Oh my god," Bellamy whispered as they pulled away. "I've missed you so much, O. You can't even imagine how much. And I can't believe I'm going to be an uncle!" He ran his hand through his hair, suddenly feeling a little nauseous from the amount of information he had received in the past few minutes.

"Yeah," Octavia grinned, sitting on the couch. "I'm due in less than 3 months. And we're having a baby girl. You're going to have a little niece."

"Really?" Bellamy beamed at her, taking a seat on the couch next to her. "Oh, I'm going to spoil her so much! If you let me, of course."

Before his sister got the chance to respond, he continued talking. "Before you say anything, please let me get this out first. I'm so so sorry, O. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for acting like a total idiot, for being horrible to Lincoln, for not supporting you when you needed my support more than anything. It just that… It's been just you and me for ages. At one moment you were just a little girl who needed my help with everything and then, all of a sudden, you're this beautiful, independent young woman. When you found Lincoln, I guess I felt a little threatened and I wanted to protect you at all costs. I had a terrible way of showing it, I know. And I know that it's going to take forever for you to forgive me, but I will do everything I can to be the brother you love again."

"Oh, Bell…" Octavia sighed, grabbing his hand. "I'm always going to love you. You're my brother, the person who raised me and basically gave up his youth to give me everything I needed. I'll always be grateful for that. And yes, you did an awful mistake, but the fact that you're here now makes me believe that you are indeed willing to change."

Instead of responding, Bellamy hugged her again.

"Now tell me what you've been up to since the last time I saw you," Octavia said when they pulled away.

Bellamy hesitated for a moment before he started to talk. He knew Octavia would be disappointed in him after hearing what he had gotten himself into, but he didn't want to keep any secrets from her.

So he told her everything from the moment Gina died, getting involved with Pike and finally meeting Clarke who helped him get on the right path again.

Octavia didn't interrupt him once while he was speaking. She stared at him wide-eyed, sometimes tearing up. Bellamy wouldn't be surprised if she told him to get out after he finished talking.

"So what happened with Clarke? Are you with her?"

"After everything I just told you, that's what you want to ask me?" Bellamy was actually amused.

"Yes! Don't tell me you screwed that up, too!"

"Well, I kind of did…"

He told her how he let Clarke go because he thought he didn't deserve him. When he actually said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous and he knew Octavia was going to give him a hard time because of it.

"You idiot!" She hit him on the arm. "You chased away one good thing that happened to you after months of being miserable? Classic Bellamy," she rolled her eyes.

"I guess you're going to tell me know to go and get her back, aren't you?" He smirked at her, enjoying the fact that they were able to talk honestly and bicker like real siblings again. He truly had faith that he could restore the relationship he had with his sister before.

"Of course! What else would I tell you? And you better hope she forgives you for being such an IDIOT!"

"Okay, I get it, you think I'm an idiot," Bellamy chuckled. Frankly, he was miserable without Clarke and he deeply regretted doing the right thing for once and chasing her away. In the last few days he actually started doubting it was the right thing to do. If Octavia hadn't forgiven him, he would have lost the only two people he truly cared about in this world.

"I promise I'm going to try and talk to Clarke. But first we need to catch up. Do you and Lincoln want to grab dinner?"

"Of course we do. I'm going to go get changed," Octavia beamed. "And I need you to stop feeling sorry for yourself, okay? You deserve to be with Clarke. You're doing your best to change. You took a bullet for her, for god's sake. If that isn't enough then I don't know what is."

Bellamy nodded, realizing in that moment he'd missed his sister even more than he thought. She missed her smart advice and her stubborn personality, as well as her determination to never give up. She will indeed make a great mother.

* * *

When Clarke came home that day, the last thing she expected to see was Bellamy sitting on the stairs in front of her apartment. She stared at him in awe as he smiled innocently at her and her first instinct was to punch him in the face.

It's been a week since she last saw him. She hadn't tried to contact him for the first few days, but one day she couldn't take it anymore so she went to his apartment. He wasn't there so she went to the bar he worked in. He wasn't there either so she tried calling him.

She called him about twenty times in the past three days and sent him twice as many texts. She didn't get a single answer. And when she saw him sitting in front of her apartment, looking as though he didn't shatter her heart into million pieces just a few days ago, a part of her was relieved that he wasn't dead. But the other, much larger part of her wanted to scream at him for being an asshole.

"What the hell?" was all she managed to let out.

"I know you're probably pissed at me right now, but I really need to talk to you," Bellamy started, but she cut him off.

"What gives you the right to just come here like this after ignoring my calls for days? First you ditch me without even asking me what I want, then you completely ignore my existence for a week and now you're here, suddenly wanting to talk. I was genuinely worried about you, Bellamy. I couldn't find you at your place or your job. And when you didn't answer my calls, I really thought something was wrong. But since you're here now, alive and well, it turns out you just spent the last week sulking and pitying yourself."

Bellamy stared at her like he seemed genuinely surprised by her words. Clarke was never so harsh on him, but she wasn't sorry at all. He hurt her very much and she wanted to point that out to him.

He got up with an actual smirk on his lips, making Clarke want to punch him even more.

"Can we please go inside before your neighbors hear you screaming at me? I have some explaining to do."

"Yeah, you do," Clarke snapped at him, but pulled her keys out to unlock the door, deliberately hitting his shoulder with hers on her way to the door.

She slammed the door behind him and faced him with her arms across her chest, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"There was a fire in my apartment the other day. It happened when I was in the shower and by the time I smelled the smoke, half of my kitchen burned down. There was something wrong with the wiring since the place is really old and the dudes who assessed the damage told me it was just a matter of time when it would all go to hell. My phone was also damaged in the fire. That's why you couldn't reach me. I managed to get a new phone in the meantime, but I thought that what I had to tell you was too important to be said over the phone."

By the time Bellamy finished talking, Clarke was sitting on her couch, staring at him in surprise. This was all just so ridiculous. It was like the entire world was working against the two of them being together.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Bellamy. Where are you staying now? Don't tell me you're homeless."

"Of course not," he snorted. "I'm currently the resident of Miller's couch," he still stood awkwardly by the door, unsure whether he should come closer to Clarke or not.

"You should come stay here," Clarke blurted out without actually thinking about it. "I have a spare room anyway."

They stared at each other for a while, Clarke totally embarrassed by what she just offered and Bellamy in awe and loss of words.

"I… I thought you were still mad at me," he said slowly, but there was a smirk on his lips.

"I am. But that doesn't mean I want you to sleep on Miller's lousy old couch when you I have a room you could take. I'm not that evil," she shrugged.

Bellamy let out a big sigh and sat next to her. "Can I at least say what I came here to say first?"

"Sure," she leaned back on the couch, looking at him softly. She couldn't stay angry with him for a long time when he looked so cute and confused.

"I'm really sorry. For how I acted last week. Don't get me wrong, I meant what I said about me not deserving you. You're way too good for me, but for some reason you're willing to accept me just the way I am and I was an idiot for trying to throw that away. And when I went to see Octavia, she opened my eyes and made me realize that I'm not selfless enough to let you go…"

"You went to Octavia?" Clarke asked a little too loudly. "How did it go?"

"It went great," Bellamy grinned. "And it was all thanks to you. Honestly, every good thing that happened to me in the last few months was because of you, Clarke," he looked softly at her. He wanted to reach out and remove a loose strand of hair from her face, but he wasn't sure if she'd let him touch her just yet.

The blonde let out a breath, shaking her head. "I hate you," she said, but a small smile played on her lips.

"No, you don't," he beamed at her, poking her in the arm playfully.

"Yes, I do. First you break my heart because you think it's the right thing to do and then you come here, swooning me with just a few words. I hate you and I hate myself for falling for your swooning so easily," she looked at him, feeling completely defeated. Her anger evaporated just like that and she hated how much influence he had on her.

"Okay," Bellamy whispered, drawing his face dangerously close to hers. "So what are you going to do about it?"

He barely managed to finish his sentence before Clarke crushed her lips to his. She lunged at him with such force that he had to lie on the couch, Clarke landing on top of him. They kissed for a long time, both of them happy to put their yearning for each other to an end after spending a week being completely miserable.

"God, I've missed you so much," he breathed out when they pulled away for air, playing with the loose strands of her hair.

"So, have you considered my offer?"

"Geez, baby, I don't know… I feel like it's too soon for us to move in together…" Bellamy teased and earned himself a smack on the arm.

"Yes, okay, I accept your offer," he grinned, leaning forward to get another portion of Clarke's delicious kisses. Never in his life had he thought that he would be so happy that the place he lived in burned down.

* * *

 **So we're about to see Bellarke as roomates, but in a relationship? I wonder how that will go... Are you excited?**

 **Let me know your thoughts on this chapter! Did you like Lincoln and Octavia? We'll get to see some more of them in the chapters to come.**

 **Thanks for reading, love you all xo**

 **Also check out my trashcan (url: blakeesgriffin)**


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey guys! I know it's been a while since my last update but life got in the way again as it always does._

 _Anyways, I'm really happy I'm finally able to post this and I really hope you guys will like it!_

 _Let me know what you think!_

* * *

„Wow, you were really serious when you said you didn't have a lot of stuff," Clarke stated in the middle of stuffing a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. It took Bellamy a lot less time to get settled in than she expected. He arrived in her apartment with just one travel bag and two huge tubes of ice cream which they decided to consume immediately.

"I don't need a lot of stuff. I'm a humble guy," he smirked at her from across the table.

"Even better. I was scared of you cramming my apartment with unnecessary junk."

He made a funny grimace, making her chuckle. "I cleaned the guest room for you and put fresh sheets on the bed. Feel free to thank me later."

A frown appeared on Bellamy's face as he stared at her in confusion. "I _was_ going to thank you later. And with what I had in my mind, I wouldn't need the guest room because we would share yours."

When she saw the naughty look on his face, Clarke noticed he was genuinely expecting for them to sleep together that night, which made her enjoy her next sentence even more.

"Oh no, no, no," she pointed a spoon at him. "This time, we are taking things slowly. Which means you will indeed be sleeping in the guest room tonight."

"Oh, so moving in together means taking things slowly for you?"

"We didn't move in together because of the advanced stage of our relationship, Bellamy, and you know that. I offered you to move in with me because you have nowhere else to go. And that was two days ago so don't pretend like you don't remember it."

He pouted, his eyes narrowing as he inspected her face. "Is this you getting back at me for what I did to you last week?"

"Yup," she smirked proudly, sitting up straight in her chair.

"Fine," Bellamy chuckled, putting his arms up in surrender. "We're taking things slowly. But I'll be the one laughing when you come to me in the middle of the night because you can't forget the fact that this piece of meat," he pointed to himself, "is sleeping in the room next to you."

The way he said the last sentence, in a dark and quiet manner, made Clarke's insides stir with excitement and something more, but she was too proud to admit it. She shot a glare at him instead. "You wish."

"We'll see," he smirked, scraping the remains of ice cream from his bowl. "There's something I want to ask you, by the way."

The playfulness in his voice faded away and Clarke noticed him fidgeting in his chair. He was nervous about something and he was failing at pretending to be completely relaxed.

"Sure, ask away," the blonde took the empty bowl from him and dumped it in the sink along with her own, turning her back on him as he mustered up the courage to ask his question.

"Octavia and Lincoln invited me to dinner at their place tomorrow. And since I've mentioned you to my sister, she insists that you come too. She wants to meet my…um…" he stopped for a moment, hoping to get some sort of reaction from Clarke. But he was still facing her back.

"Girlfriend," he breathed out, not moving a muscle in his body as he waited for her to turn around.

When she finally did, she had her arms crossed on her chest. "So I'm your girlfriend now?" Her eyebrows were raised high up and Bellamy couldn't figure out whether she was joking or not.

"Are you not?" He stuttered, staring at her with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

Clarke stared at him for what seemed like an eternity until she finally made her way towards where he was sitting.

"Of course I'm your girlfriend, you idiot," she punched him lightly in the arm and plopped down onto his lap.

"And of course I'll go to your sister's dinner with you."

She wrapped her arms around Bellamy's neck and gave him a chaste kiss.

"I'm really excited to meet Octavia," she murmured, still nestled comfortably in his lap with his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I'm sure you two will get along very well. You're actually very alike in some areas."

"Really?" Clarke smiled. "In what areas?"

"Well, for example, you're both so incredibly stubborn that it gets annoying sometimes," Bellamy grinned at her. It was his turn to tease her now.

Clarke frowned at him. He leaned forward to capture her lips with his before she got the chance to punch him again.

* * *

Bellamy tossed and turned in his bed that night, the thought of Clarke actually wanting to be with him keeping him wide awake. Clarke let him know she wanted him a while ago, but he still found it quite hard to believe. He had truly considered himself one lucky bastard for getting to be with a woman as amazing as Clarke.

He had just envisioned his fingers tangled in her golden hair as they made out in her kitchen just a few hours ago when the door of his room opened and Bellamy caught a glimpse of that same golden hair.

He didn't shut the drapes on the window before he went to bed so the street lights from outside illuminated Clarke's figure on the doorway. He was just about to laugh at her for proving his earlier point when he realized she was trembling.

"Clarke," he breathed, his voice coming out hoarse. "What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she said quietly, her voice shaking a little. She wrapped her arms around her small frame, looking like she was shivering even though it wasn't a cold night. "The same one I've been having ever since you've been shot. You're… You're always lying in a pool of your own blood, your eyes wide open but lifeless… I'm on the floor next to you, trying to find a source of bleeding but I can't seem to find it anywhere. There's too much blood and I can't do anything to stop it and you're dying right in front of me…"

She choked on her own words, letting out a sob.

"Hey," Bellamy said gently, sitting up and making room for her on the bed next to him. "Come here."

Clarke listened to him, shutting the door behind her. When she sat next to him, he noticed that her face was stained with tears.

"It's alright. I'm here, I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere. Okay?" He emphasized every word as he stared straight in her bright eyes. Her face seemed even smaller when he cupped it with his large hands, soothingly stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Bellamy, if I had lost you…" She took a deep breath, her bottom lip trembling. She looked as though she might cry again.

"Shh," he hugged her as tight as possible, letting her head rest in the crook of his neck. "You didn't lose me. I'm here."

He kept kissing her temple as he waited for her breaths to become more even. He'd never seen her this fragile and there was nothing he wanted more than to protect her at all cost and to give all of himself to her. He hadn't felt like that for a long time. And he hoped he would never have to let go of that feeling again, even though it scared him a little to love someone that deeply again.

When she managed to calm down, Clarke pulled away.

"I know I said that I wanted to take things slow," she began talking, her voice firm and determined this time. "But I don't want to waste any more time."

She grabbed his face, making it impossible for him to look away. "I love you, Bellamy. I want you to know that."

His heart began pounding so hard that he thought it might jump out of his chest. He had already heard Clarke say it, but that was when he overhead hers and Finn's conversation. Having her actually say it to his face was incredible.

Bellamy took her hands in his own and brought them to his lips. "I love you too. So much."

Clarke didn't waste a second. She leaned forward and kissed him fiercely, her small hands clutching the front of his shirt so hard like she was afraid of letting go of him. She was kissing him in a different manner than she did before, like she was desperate to prove how much she loved and wanted him.

It didn't take long for Bellamy to recover from the surprising force coming from Clarke. He took control, his tongue exploring her mouth. Tangling his fingers in her golden hair, he laid her on the bed and pressed himself against her in the right spot, causing Clarke to suck in a breath at the feel of him. He was already hard and the fact that she felt it brought him even more satisfaction.

There was suddenly too much clothes between them. He felt her hands pulling at the rim of his shirt. He let her pull it over his head before he let his own hands wander under the large T-shirt she was wearing.

She had no bra on and he almost yelped in excitement when he found her perky breasts. He grasped them, his fingers playing with her nipples as she explored the firmness of his chest and arms.

Clarke left a trail of kisses along his chest, collarbone and neck before taking off her own shirt. Her lips found Bellamy's as he pressed his bare, hot chest against hers. When his hand slipped inside her panties, she was already soaking wet. He teased her at first, his fingers working his way around her middle as she let out little moans into his mouth. When he finally slid his fingers into her, her back arched and Bellamy thought he might reach climax just by looking at her. It didn't take long for her to fall apart under him, reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants immediately after.

She grinned at the sight of him naked before her and gripped his shoulders tightly, hoping it was enough of an indication that she wanted him inside of her immediately.

Bellamy leaned forward and captured her mouth with his again, biting her lip as he pushed inside her. She let out a gasp, wrapping her legs around his waist. She pressed her sweaty forehead against his shoulder as they moved together perfectly in-sync like they've been doing it forever.

He felt her tightening around him before his name escaped her lips, his release following moments after. He let his head rest in the crook of her neck, both of them breathing heavily.

"I hate to say I told you so…" he panted against her skin, a smug grin spreading across his face.

She smacked his back, trembling with laughter underneath him.

"But no, you had to be extra," he went on, detaching himself from her and trying to squeeze into a tiny spot on the bed between Clarke and the wall. "And now we have to share this tiny bed instead of your huge one," he complained, but smiled at her anyways. He couldn't take the smile off his face after what they just did.

"Are you saying you're not glad I snuck into your room anyways?" Clarke teased.

"Oh, I'm glad," his hand caressed her stomach as he leaned forward, their faces just a breath apart. "And I'm ready to show you how glad I am one more time," he whispered before bringing his smiling lips to hers again.

* * *

"You're nervous," Bellamy chuckled as he rang the doorbell to Lincoln's house. He noticed Clarke fidgeting next to him and couldn't help but mock her a little for it.

"I'm not nervous," she scowled, smoothing her dress and checking her jacket for possible signs of dirt.

"Yes, you are," he was still grinning. "This is exactly the same as when I was meeting Raven for the first time."

"And you wouldn't admit you were nervous then either," Clarke stated. "I'm not nervous, I'm just a little intimidated by all this," she admitted, pointing to the house and the impeccably decorated area around it. "I had no idea Lincoln was this rich."

Bellamy's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You're intimidated? What are you talking about? You grew up rich, Princess."

"Not this rich," she shot him a glare before the door in front of them opened. A beautiful, dark haired young woman appeared in front of them. She beamed at them, clearly glowing with happiness. Although it hadn't been that long since the last time Clarke saw her, her baby bump was visibly bigger.

"Hey guys!" She wrapped her arms around her brother before turning to Clarke who introduced herself.

"I'm Octavia and I'm fighting the urge to hug you too right now," she grinned, flashing her gorgeous white teeth at her.

Clarke laughed as Octavia led them inside, almost gaping at the majestic lobby she found herself in. Before the blonde had the chance to compliment the house, Bellamy's sister turned around to look at her, her eyes narrowing.

"Have we met before? You seem oddly familiar," Octavia stated.

Clarke kind of expected Octavia to remember her, but she hoped Bellamy wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

"Yes, actually we have," Clarke smiled as they entered the living room. Octavia urged them to sit, the drinks already prepared on the little table between the two sofas. The delicious smell of food which Clarke felt as soon as they entered the house was now even stronger and she guessed the kitchen was near as well.

"I remember now!" The brunette exclaimed. "We met when I was in the hospital a few weeks ago. You're a doctor!"

"Yup," Clarke glanced at Bellamy who was sitting next to her to check his reaction. There was no sign of any specific emotion on his face. "I'm not a gynecologist, though. I'm actually specializing in general surgery and I was just visiting my friend Niylah that day."

"How come you didn't tell me about this?" Bellamy asked. He didn't sound angry, just curious. Clarke almost released a breath of relief. She really didn't feel like bickering with him while officially meeting his sister for the first time.

"I wasn't allowed to because of the patient confidentiality," she shrugged, sipping at the martini which Octavia handed to her. She wondered how she knew about her favorite drink and if Bellamy had perhaps told her.

"So you knew my sister was pregnant before I did?"

"Well, you would've known first if you'd pulled your head out of your ass earlier than you did and talked to your sister," Clarke smirked.

He pouted, but she knew her comment didn't offend him. Octavia burst into a fit of laugher.

"Oh my god, I love you already!" She beamed at Clarke.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "Where is Lincoln when a brother needs him?" he muttered, causing both women to laugh at him even more.

"So I take it you've already faced my brother's stubborn nature," Octavia sighed, helping herself to the mini sandwiches from the silver platter and encouraging Bellamy and Clarke to grab a bite as well.

"Oh yes, many times. More than I can count, in fact," Clarke chuckled. "Actually, he's claiming that you and I are the ones who are stubborn."

Before the younger Blake had the chance to call her brother out, Lincoln walked into the room. If he hadn't been grinning, Clarke would've thought him as intimidating as the house he owned. He was tall, dark, bulky and had the posture of a powerful man which he was, as Bellamy had told her.

But at that moment he didn't look like a businessman. He appeared to be in a very domestic mode. He was wearing jeans, a sweater and an apron that said "The naked chef", probably a courtesy of Octavia.

"Hello," he smiled, shaking Clarke's hand. "I'm Lincoln."

"Clarke. Nice to meet you," she smiled back at him.

His smile was very kind and genuine and from the loving way Octavia looked at him, Clarke could easily assume he was a good man. Even though she had just met him, Clarke couldn't help but feel sorry that Bellamy had treated him so badly in the past. She was glad they had sorted things out.

He shifted his glance to Bellamy and crossed his arms with an amusing look on his face. "Dude, you look like you're going to shit herself. Have they been giving you a hard time?"

Bellamy's groan was enough for Lincoln to understand and laugh. "Aw man, sorry I couldn't be here before. I was cooking dinner which is served, by the way."

Octavia stood up immediately, clapping her hands in joy. "Yaay! I'm starving," she stated, her mouth still full of sandwich bites.

"She's always starving," Lincoln said to Clarke and Bellamy who were trying to suppress laughter.

The brunette nudged her fiancé in the ribs with her elbow as they led them to the dining room. "I'm eating for two now! And one of them is your child, if you happened to forget."

"I'm just teasing you, honey," Lincoln wrapped his arm around her shoulders, placing the kiss on her temple as they walked. "You two can eat as much as you want, of course."

He then turned to Bellamy and Clarke. "It's a good thing I can cook because this one barely knows how to make a sandwich." He laughed and moved away from Octavia before she got the chance to punch him one more time.

"It's because I was the one who always cooked for her," Bellamy said, but his last words came out a little slurred as he spotted the table filled with food in the dining room.

"Wow Lincoln, you weren't joking when you said you could cook," Clarke said in awe. The table was filled with delicious looking dishes, from two kinds of soup to trays of chicken, lamb, beef, roast potatoes and veggies and all different sorts of salads. Just looking at all of it made Clarke's mouth water.

Next to her, Bellamy rubbed his hands in content. "It's a good thing we're hungry!"

* * *

 **Isn't it cute that Lincoln can cook? I really wanted to make him very domestic and adorable in my fic.**

 **Also, how did you like the smut in this chapter? I don't write a lot of smut so I'm curious about how I did. Let me know!**

 **Don't forget to review and feel free to check my Tumblr (blakeesgriffin) if you want!**

 **Thanks for reading xo**


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